Back in the Game (COMPLETE)

9.16.7

There wasn't much to say after that. Everyone dispersed, huddling in small groups, and walking off to talk. They all knew better than to go far, but news like that had to be processed. 

The only person who didn't leave the holotable was Ahsoka, who dug through the Republic database for as much information as she could. She was trying to find any news about Barriss, hoping that someone would have seen her on Coruscant or anywhere else, but she had been a ghost. No one had reported that the Mirialan had been spotted. 

After a few fruitless tries, she powered down the HoloNet portal and slipped out of the command center by herself. She had gone unnoticed at first, but Rex turned around to ask her something and saw that she was missing within a few minutes. He looked over to the Jedi, and when they realized the same thing, Anakin excused himself and went after her. He wasn't surprised Ahsoka had left alone, but he wasn't going to let her get away with it either.

It didn't take him long to find her. Ahsoka had climbed up to the roof and was watching the sunset, sitting with her knees drawn to her chest. He could tell she knew he was there, but she didn't react as he walked up behind her, sat down and leaned back on his hands. Anakin didn't need to speak to ask what was on her mind. She knew that's what he had come up there for.

"How come every time Barriss gets involved in something, it ends so badly?" she asked, not expecting an answer. She crossed her arms over her knees, thinking all of the things she could have done to prevent what had happened. Ahsoka had so many chances to tell the Republic about the chips, or kill Barriss, or-

"Cut it out, Snips."

Anakin startled her out of her train of thought, and she looked over at him. "What? I didn't-"

He shot a glare at her, not buying it for a second. "All of us are thinking the same thing. Don't try to blame yourself without looking around you. We all could have done something more."

"Were you the Inquisitor for a year?"

"Were you the Chosen One since you were nine? We could do this all day."

They could, Ahsoka wasn't stupid enough to test him on it. Rex had told her the same thing Anakin was, more or less, but her guilt wasn't listening to reason but to the screams of the fallen.  

"If we focus on everything we could have done, we aren't going to be able to do anything to fix it," Anakin reminded her, leaning forward. "I know you aren't a Jedi, but you and the clones are the only other fighters we've got. If there's any way to protect the other survivors, we have to fight together. You can't do that if you keep blaming yourself for everything that's happened. That's what Yoda did, and look where he is now."

She nodded, listening to her teacher. Not even for a second did either of them question that Ahsoka was in this for the long haul. Anakin knew her well: If she wouldn't let go of her guilt for herself, she would do it for her friends. No matter how much she blamed herself, she wouldn't let it stand in the way of helping them. Thinking of the older Jedi, she asked, "Obi-Wan is taking it hard, isn't he?"

"He won't talk about it," Anakin admitted, looking forward again. "Barely said a word to me when it happened, hasn't said anything about it since."

"Do you know why he left?" she asked, letting her knees fall. "If he hadn't, survivors would have rallied behind him once he called. Nearly the entire Order believed in Yoda, doesn't he know that?"

Shaking his head, he told her, "I think he does, which is why he left. He blames himself for Palpatine and Dooku rising, and for the fall of the Order. I'm sure he said more to Obi-Wan after he started walking out, but I wasn't there for it."