Siri? How Do You Get Away With Murder?~

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"Hello, Danny-boy." I coo as said boy steps into the family room, snuggled comfortably between my weasel and artist. My fingers are laced with Itachi's and Deidara's hand rests in my lap, palm up so I can trace the plains of his palm. Danny pauses, brows furrowing, and then he locates the girl sitting in between Kakuzu and Zetsu.

I had hissed at her when she tried to sit by my Uchiha.

Maddi stares back at him questioningly. She's a pretty little twig, with stringy blonde hair that hangs straight down past her chest and big violet eyes. Her chest seems to be about twice as big as her brain and she's so skinny that I'm pretty sure that if Hidan simply blew on her, she'd snap in half.

"Maddi? What are you going here?" The muscles in Danny's neck tighten. Uh-oh, somebody's nervous.

"I invited her for dinner. It is your sixth month anniversary. I think it's time she met the family." I smile easily, eyes glinting evilly. Dinnertime, with the Akatsuki, is something close to a tsunami and a tornado having a baby. I can't tell you how many times I've had to kill Hidan to get him to clean his mess up. I thought it would be interesting for Maddi to see just what she's getting into by being with Daniel, the insanity she is going to be subjected too. Maybe, just maybe, I can drive her away.

Daniel pales slightly.

Hidan barks out a mean sounding laugh. He sits on the other side of Itachi, an arm thrown lazily around Sarah's shoulders. They are a potential couple I can see, with the way Hidan looks at her, soft and caring-totally unHidan like. His fuschia colored eyes flicker over to Maddi. "Welcome to hell, bitch. Hope you enjoy the fucking ride."

Deidara chuckles. I flatten my palm against his. His hand is bigger than mine and he curls his fingers over the tops of mine, just to accentuate the difference. I smirk and shake my head, glancing over to meet his gaze evenly.

"Wonderful." Danny sighs softly.

"Go ahead and sit down. Alice and Kisame are still cooking." I wave at him, gesturing for him to sit down.

Kakuzu snorts. "I didn't know he could cook."

"He can't." Itachi deadpans. "He just enjoys watching her work."

I smile. "It's sweet! He totally likes her."

"The fucker's head over heels." Hidan sings sardonically, rolling his eyes. "Fucking makes me sick."

"Well at least he's doing something to show her he cares for her." I pin him with a dark look and stick my tongue out at the silverette. My gaze flickers to Sarah for all of two seconds before shifting back to him. I shoot him a pointed look. He scowls dirtily. I mimic his expression and cross my eyes, to add a little flavor. Hidan smirks and makes another face.

Sarah laughs. "I love you guys."

I giggle. Resting my head against Itachi's shoulder, I kick my legs up and shove them into Deidara's lap. The blonde lightly moves his hands over my fucked up knee, gauging my expression for pain. My eyes shoot up to meet his baby blues, lips twitching when he prods the muscle and cartilage around my kneecap. He begins to massage. I close my eyes and lean back, smiling slightly at the momentarily relief of pain.

Tobi skips into the room, with a bubbly Tj in tow. They plop down on the floor in front of the television and Tj looks to Kakuzu. Plastering a pitiful look that would make Kisame and I proud onto her face, she pouts. "Kuzu-kun! Can we please have the remote?"

Kakuzu glances over at her and quirks a brow. "No."

"But!"

"No."

I chuckle. "Kakuzu, may I please have the remote?" I smile sweetly when he glances over.

"No."

"Let me rephrase that then. Kakuzu? If you don't give me the remote in the next five seconds, I will not only shove my foot so far up your ass that it will come out of your face, but I will also sick an angry Weasel and Artist on you." My bright, cheerful smile doesn't fade, though it does twist into something a little more dangerous. "You had the television all day. I want to watch something other than money."

Kakuzu seems unfazed by my threat, but he does toss the remote at me lightly. I go to catch it, but Itachi snatches it out of the air before I can touch it. He hands it to me politely and I smile at him gratefully before clicking the guide button. I find The Simpsons and smile deviously.

"Dinner time!" Kisame pokes his head in, smiling cheerfully.

"It's not allowed!" I scowl at him. "My show just started."

Alice pokes her head in, beneath Kisame. It's sort of funny, like watching two children hide behind the wall, poking their heads into watch a show. "Sorry baby, can you record it?"

My facial features scrunch up and I peer at the television. "It's a rerun." I shrug lightly and press the power button. The television flickers black and I lean over Deidara to set the remote back in the little holder attached to the couch. Itachi scoops me up into his arms as soon as I start to lean back and I let out a feeble squeak of protest. Deidara's eyes narrow and he lets out a little scoffing sound. We all slowly trickle into the dining room and take our seats. Maddi sits beside Itachi and to Pein's left. She straightens a bit when he sits, chest slightly jutting out.

My eyes narrow.

We all settle in and the expressible ones in my bunch all chime their thanks towards Alice and Kisame. Konan thanks them softly and the impassive ones simply dip their heads in thanks. I smile and pick up my fork, eyes flickering back to watch Maddi make a fool out of herself. Her violet eyes flicker over Itachi's body, respectively taking in every inch of his sexy form. I find myself wanting to gouge them out. How dare she look at another man while being with my brother. 

Especially my weasel.

Let me stress this. Itachi is my weasel.

Hidan bends his spoon back, almost to the point where it snaps, and launches a meatball at Deidara. Deidara dodges, barely, and the meatball squishes against the wall behind him. Blue eyes narrowing at the challenge, a wicked smirk stretches his lips back.

But I ignore him, because right then, Maddi glances over.

And her lip curls back into a smirk.

"So." I smile wickedly and the fighting ceases almost immediately, Deidara and Hidan visibly startled by the dangerous edge to my voice. "How did you two meet?" My glaze flickers to Danny. "Was it before or after you found her working the streets?"

"Alex." Daniel growls my way.

Hidan lets out a low whistle. Deidara smirks slightly and Itachi merely glances my way, amusement shining deep within his charcoal eyes.

Maddi scoffs slightly. "I'm not the whore here."

The room drops several degrees. I stare at her for a few moments, unblinkingly. She stares back just as evenly, facial expression silently daring me to insult her again. My fingers curl around my steak knife. My head tilts slightly and I smile warningly. "Sure doesn't look like it. You know, with the way you're offering yourself up to Itachi even though you're dating my brother."

"I was just following your example. Don't act like a hypocrite now, not when I watched you flirt with both the blonde one and Itachi. You really need to get your priorities straight before trying to critic mine." She smiles sweetly.

The blade sings through the air. It vibrates loudly, digging into the wooden back of Maddi's chair, mere inches away from her face, three inches deep. Maddi's eyes widen and she lets out an loud, ear piercing scream. She promptly falls out of her seat and onto the floor with a dull thump, much to my amusement. My gaze flickers to Alice.

Her gray eyes are hard. I can feel her anger from all the way over here, but thankfully, it is not directed towards me.

Hidan howls with laughter and Deidara snorts. Sarah, Kakuzu, and Kisame snicker towards the empty chair and Daniel frowns at his plate. Face flushed with embarrassment and anger, Maddi pokes her head over the edge of the table and shoots me a dirty look. I take a bite of my spaghetti and share a look with Alice, blatantly ignoring the whore. If she continues on, I will have to consult with my IPhone to see how to get away with murder.

Because, naturally, Siri knows best in these types of situations.

"It would be wise not to insult the very person who invited you here." I conclude lowly, flashing a dangerous look her way.

Maddi bristles. "You don't fucking scare me, bitch. You're the one who started it."

"You're right." I smile a sickly-sweet smile. "I did. But I have my reasons and you are in my territory. So you can shut the fuck up now."

"Make me."

Alice lets out a low growl. Daniel slams his fist down on the table, making it rattle beneath the blow. I barely spare him a glance, just enough to see that his anger is directed towards me. "Why the fuck did you have to go through my phone? Seriously, Alex! Stay out of my fucking social life."

I cast him a bored look. "And...who pays your bill?"

He glowers at me.

"Can I just fucking sacrifice her already?" Hidan whines loudly, shooting Maddi a sadistic look. The girl blinks, confusion flitting through her features. I ignore them both and glare heatedly at Daniel. Carefully, I focus my energy on the bimbo, the sound of trickling water pouring into her lungs filling my ears. Maddi lets out a strangled sound, coughing violently.

Daniel looks towards her, lips parting with horror and shock. "Stop it!"

"Why should I?" I growl, slowly easing into a stand. My knee screams in pain, but I'm too focused on drowning the girl and my brother's horrified face. "Nothing stopped her from trying to cheat on you. Nothing stopped you from cheating on her! And then you expected me to trust you when you go behind my back!" My voice increases volume with each word, inching towards a scream. "Why should I fucking stop, Daniel? Especially when she insults me!"

"You started it!" Daniel pins me with a dangerous gaze.

"And as I stated before, I know." I seethe. "Answer my damn question. Or I'll torture her."

Maddi's coughing is drowning out my words, so I don't care about her blabbing to someone. Besides, later on, before she leaves-if I let her leave alive-Alice will erase her memory of tonight.

"You're too soft. You wouldn't." Daniel snarls at me.

My eyes narrow. My chin dips a little lower and Maddi's choking stops. The water drains from her lungs quickly and then, slowly, her skin becomes tighter. She blinks and touches her hand to her neck, grateful to the sudden burst of air that is allowed down her lungs. But her relief is short lived. As soon as she pulls her hand away, a chunk of skin comes with it.

Did I forget to mention that, when the water levels stoop dangerously low in the body, skin begins to flake off in large clumps because it is not wet enough to stick together? The same thing happens to your blood, only, it doesn't come out of your veins and arteries, it simply clumps up and is extremely painful.  

My favorite form of torture.

Maddi grimaces, hand massaging her arm. Everything, every part of her body, is starting to hurt. The pain is new to her, fierce and hard, steely like stones. It's not a flare of a flame, like most pain is.

"Alex." Daniel warns lowly.

I drain even more water from her body. A large chunk of her cheek flakes off, falling to the dinner table. Maddi lets out a loud, raspy scream and Hidan stares at the massive clump of skin with something akin to wonder. He cackles evilly. Most everyone else looks fairly disgusted.

"Stop it, yeah." Deidara appears behind me, fingers curling around my shoulder. I shoot him a dirty look and try to nudge his hand off my shoulder. His grip tightens. "Alex, just let her go. We can punish Daniel later, un."

His calm, soothing voice defuses me. My anger fizzles out, flickering out like a candle being blown out. I stare at him, our eyes locked, and slowly allow water to refill Maddi's body. Her skin returns to it's natural tan state, looking healthy and, well, not flaky like earlier. She's still missing a part of her cheek but that can be healed with time and a little bit of Alice. Her blood pumps through her veins like normal and all the clots disappear.

Alice stands and shows her to the door.

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