I have relinquished Deidara for the time being, sitting in my spot upon the counter to watch Alice cook. Most of the Akatsuki are either exploring or sitting in the den, watching America's Top Model with Tj and Sarah-who can be heard shouting at the models to suck up their bitchiness and get a life from the kitchen. Danny is showing Hidan, Deidara, and Sasori how to play Call Of Duty up in his room.
Alice stirs some of the pasta around, gray eyes carefully glued to the little yellow shells. "This isn't real."
"What do you mean?" I quirk my head to the side a bit, brows furrowing with confusion.
"Them. There's no way that's actually them. I don't care if Deidara has his hand-mouths. It's impossible." Alice frowns and shakes her head. I sigh softly, avoiding her gaze to look to the little wooden saloon doors. Every inch of my being is screaming that she's wrong. It is them. It's just the circumstances around the phenomenon that make it impossible to believe. It's impossible to explain. Impossibly true. Alice is right, there's no way it can be them, the real Akatsuki, just sitting there in my family room. And yet, there's no way for them not to be them.
If that makes sense.
I stay silent for a little while longer, unsure of what to think.
"Oh, Boo-Bear!!!" I hear Daniel call in a sing-song voice and glance over as he enters the kitchen, beaming mischievously. My eyes narrow suspiciously at him. He walks over, flanked by Deidara and Hidan, and throws his arms around my neck. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"
"What do you want?" I growl.
He presses his cheek against the top of my head and squeezes me tightly. "You should let us take Harley for a spin."
I choke on the air that I breathe in and Alice laughs loudly, obnoxiously. Danny steps back, whacking me hard on the back until I stop coughing up my left lung, and continues to smile. "I don't think so." Alice snorts, shaking her head and shooting all three boys a hard look. "First of all, it's my Harley and I don't trust you three. Second, you're too young to drive."
"But Alex always caves first." Danny admits smugly, throwing his arms around me again. "And technically, since she bought it for you, she owns it because it's licensed under her name."
Now Alice full on glares at him.
"Now why on earth do you think I'd let you ride Alice's baby after what you did today?" I scowl at Daniel, elbowing him in the gut. He lets out a small 'oof' and doubles back, clutching his chest. "Go away. We were talking."
"Didn't look like you were." He huffs.
"That's because Alex was contemplating my last remark." Alice points behind me and I reach back. Opening the cabinet behind me, my eyes scan over the spices and I pick out some garlic. I hand it to her and she drizzles some into the pasta before I take it back and put it up.
Daniel smirks. "That explains the long pause. You didn't hurt yourself did you, Boo?"
"Fucker, I'll kill you." I shoot him a narrowed glance.
He grins, scratches the back of his head, and steps forward to try to hug me. I grab one of the knives from the silverware basket behind me and wave it threateningly around at him. Daniel steps back, palms facing me in a sign of surrender. His brown eyes grow really wide.
Alice glances over, double takes, and then snatches the knife away from me. "No sharp objects."
I pout.
"Oi, bitches. What's for dinner?" Hidan snaps, leaning against the island counter behind Danny.
Alice chucks the hot spoon in her hands at him. The ladle bounces off his large forehead, burning the skin there. Hidan yelps, hand flying to his forehead, and the spoon clings against the wooden flooring. I stare at it for a few moments and then look back to Alice's noodles. Danny picks up the spoon, throws it into the sink, and grabs another for Alice.
"What the fuck, bitch?" Hidan glares at Alice.
"Thank you, sweetie." Alice smiles fondly at Danny, making his cheeks twinge pink. Then she glares heatedly at Hidan. "Don't call my baby a bitch."
I smirk.
"What if she is one?" Daniel quirks a brow at us both. Alice shoots him a dirty look and I snort at him. He's lived with me long enough and has seen my bitchy ways. He's allowed to call me one.
Plus, I'm a proud bitch.
"Anyways, Hidan, we're having pasta." I smile at the silver haired male and climb off the counter. I walk over to the stove and squat down in front of it, pressing the light button. "The bread is almost done, Alice. Do you want me to get the butter out?"
"I'll do it." Alice beams at me.
I nod, turn the light off, and straighten. I walk over to where Deidara stands and stop beside him. He casts me a small questioning look, an elegant blonde brow lifted, and I scowl at him. "What? Can't I bask in my favorite person's presence in peace? Or must my motives be questioned every damn time?"
"I'm your favorite person, yeah?" He smirks.
Dazzled, I stare at him for a few moments, drooling. Then I realized he asked me a question and the effect vanishes. "Oh! Uh, yeah, you haven't figured that out yet?"
He scoffs softly, lips easing into a small smile. Hidan and Danny snicker loudly, making me glance over. Daniel smirks and Hidan's lip is curled back into a nasty sneer. I smile sweetly, lift my hand, and flip them the bird.
"I thought I was your favorite person." Alice teases lightly, smiling slightly back at me from over her shoulder.
I beam at her and don't reply-just to mess with her. She sticks her tongue out at me and turns back to her cooking. Danny grins widely, obviously wanting to say something flirtatious, and watches her as she grabs a bunch of paper plates and begins to scoop noodles up onto the plates. After a few moments, she pauses and turns and grabs two oven-mitts. She opens the oven and pulls out two trays of bread.
"Danny, darling." Alice beams at him. "Do me a favor and butter these for me."
Said male jerks to attention and rushes over to the fridge.
"GARLIC BUTTER!" I shout at him, a dark scowl gracing my features. He glances back, shoots me a glare, and grabs both tubs of butter. We usually fight about said bitter topic-because he's allergic to a lot of garlic and the garlic butter that Winn Dixie makes is heavenly and I don't usually think twice about it when I'm lathering the loaves with it.
"There. You get your damn garlic butter." Danny slams the tub down onto the counter.
"Don't break my fucking counter." I snap at him, folding my arms across my chest.
"It wouldn't be my fault. It'd be your fucking butter."
"Leave my 'fucking butter' out of this. Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you can try to pass the blame."
He whips out two knives and begins to butter the bread, grumbling beneath his breath. I glare at him, watching to make sure he lathers at least three loaves with my butter. Hidan snorts. "Damn, someone's in love with her fucking butter."
"It's garlic butter." I snap at him and then walk over to Danny's little station. I grab a slice of bread with garlic butter on it and rip it in half. I hold one half out to Hidan and the other to Deidara. Both boys take it and inhale it, as if they were starving children from Africa. Deidara pauses, mid-chew, and his lips twitch up into a smile. Hidan merely shrugs.
"It's not fucking bad."
"I like it, yeah." Deidara nods, still smiling and still chewing. I flick his arm as I pass. "Don't talk with your mouth full."
He rolls his eyes when I glance back at him. Hidan snickers and says something, but I don't catch it. I stroll through the saloon doors and climb over the side of the couch and onto Tj's lap. She grunts and pushes me away. "Get off! I can't see the damn tv. One Direction is about to be on the news!"
I roll my eyes and aim to block her view even more, moving with her as she tries to peer around me. Tobi giggles, from his spot in front of the coffee table, and sways with me. I grin at him and Kisame chuckles, immediately gaining my attention. I leap off of Tj, earning a disgruntled huff, and speed towards my shark.
"Scoot!" I squeeze my way in between him and my weasel.
Shoulder to shoulder with the Weasel and the Shark, I smile happily and take both their hands. Itachi merely glances over, curious to see what I'm about to do with his hand, and Kisame smiles. I interlace my fingers with theirs and squeeze tightly. Kisame squeezes back. Itachi simply 'hn's. I snicker.
"The infamous Uchiha grunt. I can now proudly say I have heard it firsthand."
Kisame laughs. Kakuzu snorts, green eyes focused on the television, and I see Sasori roll his brown eyes. If I wasn't sandwiched in between my Weasel and Shark, I'd glomp him-which I think he picks up on because he shoots me a bored glare, as if daring me to waltz over and try it.
And, unfortunately for him, I don't back down to dares.
"Excuse me, my loves," I release Itachi and Kisame and pat their hands. "I must go rape a certain puppet now."
Sasori's eyes narrow. I climb off the couch and skip over to where he sits, on the small little old fashioned lounge chair that sits in front of the fireplace-away from the tv. But, before I can make it more than three steps, I pause in midair. My eyes widen and I look at my arms, mouth falling open at the small, barely visible strings that wrap around each individual joint in my body. Then I glare at Sasori.
"I wasn't actually going to rape you. I'm saving that energy for a certain blonde artist. I only wanted a hug." I huff.
An elegant ginger brow lifts, rising to hide behind his bangs. He makes no move to release me, however, which makes me pout.
But this isn't a normal pout. Oh no, this...this little masterpiece is the very pout used to sway very powerful people to my will. No one can say no once they witness my special power.
Not even Sasori.
Said puppet visible flinches. I'm slowly lowered to the ground with a 'tsk' and he glares at the floor beside me, avoiding my face. Grinning, I continue my journey to him and throw my arms around his neck. I squeeze tightly and peck his cheek before releasing him.
"Brat." He grunts as I straighten back.
I smirk victoriously.
"Dinner's ready!" Alice calls from the kitchen. We all move, some standing and some, like me, running full speed into the room to grab a plate and plenty of bread before the criminals can. Deidara, Hidan, and Danny are already set up at the dining table, sitting at the far right end. I skip over there and pull out the chair beside Deidara. The blonde smirks as I sit down and I smirk back, smugly, when I realize he has several pieces of garlic bread.
"It's good, huh." I nod towards the bread.
He huffs arrogantly and nods slightly. I smile at him and glance over as Sarah slides into the vacant seat beside me. She casts me a knowing smirk. She knows how in-love I am with the blonde bishie that sits beside me. We wait patiently for people to file in. By the time everyone has sat down, Hidan is already up for seconds and Deidara wont be too far behind. Pein sits at the head of the table farthest from us, Konan directly to her right. Then Sarah, me, Deidara, and Danny. Alice sits at the other head of the table, closest to us, with Tj to her left and the Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, and Itachi. Sasori is in the kitchen. Zetsu wondered off before dinner, doing Jashin-knows-what, and nobody bothered to call for him. Tobi is eating his supper separately in the kitchen.
I smile happily. It's like we're all one big happy family.
And then Hidan flings a noodle shell at Sarah, which bounces off her forehead and onto the table in front of her.
Everything falls deathly silent-save for Hidan's obnoxious laughter-and Sarah looks up, blue eyes blazing. My eyes widen. I look to Pein and Konan.
"Run!" I shout at them as I stand, my chair flying back behind me, and take off towards the door to avoid the impending war. They wisely follow my lead, along with Itachi and Alice. Sarah grabs a fistful of her pasta and chucks it at Hidan, but with her amazing aim, manages to hit Kakuzu.
And then the real shit starts.
