After much collaboration with my boyfriend, we have finally decided upon the ultimate prank, one of which will be victimizing our beloved Uchihas.
Why, might you ask?
Well because, a stupid certain quack has been hogging my weasel for the past three months and Deidara is tired of me bitching about it.
So what is this marvelous plan, you might ask?
Simple.
We have created a false diary for Sas-quack by using the events that have happened for the past several months and reconstructing them with our own little twist, much to Sasori's amusement. I say Sasori, because he is the one with us when we close off for the night from the other occupants in our house and has watched us write in this stupid notebook (with an Itachi cover, of course). And I think he's curious to see what kind of rubbish we've written...
With the book in my arms, I slink through the dark halls of my house and deposit it on the coffee table, a few inches from my weasel's head. Then, before he can wake and see me in such a suspicious position, I twist towards him and gently run my fingers through his bangs.
One dark eye pops open and then softens, upon seeing my smiling face.
"Sorry, you just looked too irresistible for a moment." I pat his chest and then turn around to go back upstairs. "Night, Weasel."
"Good night, Alex."
~
February 26th-
Alex has bought me this...thing and has told me that if I do not let out my 'pent up emotions' and 'unspoken desires', she will castrate me. Normally, I do not take such threats seriously. But this is Alex we are talking about. And with the pyromaniac blonde's help, I'm sure she will find a way follow through.
-Sasuke
~
February 27th-
I do not understand why Naruto, Lee, and Tobi are still breathing. Today, whilst everyone was off doing their own thing, the Three Musketeers, as they now like to call themselves, decided to glue all of Deidara's sculptures and Kakashi's porn books to the ceiling. How they managed to do that with nobody noticing is beyond me. All I know is that Alex is currently trying to calm the pyromaniac fool before he destroys the house.
I feel somewhat bad for Kakashi, being that he is my old sensei after all. It's kind of pathetic to walk into the family room whilst he is trying attach himself to the ceiling so he can finish his book.
-Sasuke
~
March 2nd-
I think I am bisexual.
-Sasuke
~
March 3rd-
As if to prove my last entry true, I constantly find myself thinking of a 'certain someone' whilst I pleasure myself. I will not name him, because Alex, if you are reading this, I do not want to be within a twenty mile radius of you when you find out. Especially when you glare at me twenty four seven for 'hogging' him.
-Sasuke
~
March 5th-
He who shall not be named has struck again. He doesn't know it, however, and I mull over the horror of him ever discovering my true feelings within the depths of the night. I just got him back. I do not want to lose him once more.
-Sasuke
March 6th-
TOBI WAS HEREEEEEEEEEEEEE! And so was Tj ^^
Stay out of my diary, fools. Or I will sick Alex on both of you.
-Sasuke
~
March 7th-
I'm fucking terrified. No really, I'm hiding beneath my bed right now, quivering with fear at the mention of that bitch's name.
-Hidan
~
March 10th-
I apologize for the lack of updates. The pyromaniac blonde found the last entry and extracted his revenge by blowing the demented immortal up. Sarah, with the help of the Akatsuki's Ginger Lord, forced everyone to find every last bit and piece of 'her man' and help Kakuzu sow him back together.
Anyway, nothing really happened today. Alice took Kisame for his first driving lesson-and now there is a massive dent in the side of Alex's car. The latter was livid when she saw said dent. I'm curious to see how she will seek her revenge.
-Sasuke
~
March 23rd-
I think Kisame has been kidnapped. It's been almost two weeks since we've seen him last. Alice has gone crazy. She tried to cook Tsunade the other day in some sort of concoction she called 'Naruto Stew'. Unfortunately, I have not seem much of 'he who shall not be named' lately because one of his friends is missing and he seems to be distraught. I would've liked to comfort him, but alas, Naruto has forced me to help him rescue Tsunade....and Gaara now, apparently.
-Sasuke
Voldemort, Voldemort, ooooh Volde-Voldemort. Voldemort! Doo-do-doo-doo.
-Alex
(Reference to 'The Mysterious Ticking Noise', if you have not seen it. I suggest you search it up in YouTube now and watch all the way till the end.)
~
March 25th-
Kisame has returned, strangely enough, with a large stuffed whale and a mug that says 'Sea World'. I do not know where he went but apparently the girls and Daniel know, because Alice ended up chasing Alex throughout the house screaming like a banshee about how she was going to ship Deidara off to the circus if Alex ever mailed Kisame to Sea World again. It was somewhat entertaining.
-Sasuke
~
March 26th-
I am still at a loss on the topic of my 'feelings'. I thought I had gotten rid of them, during my journey as an avenger, but apparently, now that I am not planning to avenge anything anymore, they have decided to resurface. I almost clawed the stupid clingy female's eyes out when I saw her hugging all over my I-Voldemort. Yes, Voldemort. That is what I shall call him. Thank you, Alex.
-Sasuke
You're welcome ^^
-Alex
~
Itachi sets the notebook down on the coffee table, a bemused smirk twisted upon his face. He will admit that the first two entries had been vaguely convincing, because he can totally see his foolish little brother feeling that way.
But bisexual? And who is this Voldemort?
Well, it seems like he will just have to ask.
