All I want is to love- Kian Lawley fanfic

Chapter 42:Please believe me

*Courtney pov*

"It's actually such nice day today." I state and grab Kians hand. We followed through with the idea to go to the beach.

"I agree" he tells me and brings his sunglasses up to his eyes. Once we get to a settle stop on the beach, it was really warm and relaxing, it made me want to take a nap.

I noticed Kian looking at his phone with a really serious face.

"What is it?" I ask

"Sam texted me hang on.." He said and went silent. I didn't think much of it and laid back on the blanket in the sun.

*Kian pov*

From:Sammers
I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just gonna do it. I've kept it on the dL for a while now just to feel things out and I feel like I should tell you now before you find out from anyone else.

This text startled me and I replied with "What is it?"

From:Sammers
I'm dating Ashley....

"what the fuck.." I say under my breath and regret it. I don't want to explain this to Courtney. But I'll have to and I don't what to and.. Agh.

"Kian?" she asks sitting up.

To:Sammers
What the fuck Sam

"Kian what is it?" Courtney asked again.

"Nothing, it's nothing." I tell her. She knows to leave it be after that but I knew she was itching to ask about it.

From:Sammers
Kian, I'm sorry! But really no I'm not. You guys didn't even date, it was just a 'thing'. She actually makes me happy and obviously that's not okay with you.

I change his name in my phone to just Sam because I can't argue with him with his name Sammers.

To:Sam
How long

From:Sam
2 months

"I need to go grab something from the car.." I breathed calmly and got up and wiped the sand off of me.

"Okay."

I really just needed to cool off and I made sure to walk pretty slow.

My phone started ringing and I answered without looking at caller id.

"Hello?" I answered dully.

"Kian, you can't be mad at me" Sam said through the phone

"No Sam, I can be. You fucking know what happened between us, and you should fucking know I wouldn't want that to happen to you."

I was genuinely upset. Angry upset.

"Yes, I know. It won't happen, I really like her Kian." Sam told me.

"That's nice" I say sarcastically.

"now I have to probably tell Courtney about all of this is that puts me in a pretty shitty position. Thanks" I complained

"stop turning everything to yourself. For once, this isn't about you, it's about me. I'm telling you I have a beautiful girlfriend that makes me happy."

"That's great, but why her? Why Ashley? The girl that put me in a really bad place. She made me a very sad and angry person for a long time sam and you know it. Why would I want any of that to happen to you? I can't let her do it again." I tell him.

"That was years ago. She's different."Sam tells me

"I can't do this with you" I state

"Here talk to her," I hear on the phone and my heart drops.

"No, I don't want to talk." I say angrily

"Sam stop, I can't talk to her, it's gonna ruin everything I have going" I say and I was on the verge of tears. I haven't felt this way in a long time.

Before anything else happened I hung up the phone. I turned around and Courtney was basically behind me and it startled me. She had the beach blanket in her arms and she was furrowing her brows at me.

"What are you talking about.." she said suspiciously slowly walking closer.

"Ugggh, I don't know what to freaking say.. I'm a bit frazzled." I say angrily and tug at my hair.

"Kian.. I swear" she said and her eyes were filling with tears.She stared directly at me and slowly shook her head.Then I realized what she was thinking.

"Courtney, no, no, no. It's not what you're thinking. It's not, courtney it's not." I plead

"Then what is it?" she said quietly. She pressed her lips together.

"It's hard to explain..."

"Well you better" she said at a normal voice but her voice cracked and a tear fell. She crossed her arms and looked at me.

"Sam has a girlfriend... She's basically my ex girlfriend, from a couple years back. And, and, I just don't want him dating her." I tell Courtney.

"Sam has a girlfriend?" she asks

"Yeah, they have been dating apparently for two months" I answer

"Why would it matter if he dated her.. It's not like you still like her, right kian?" she said and choked at the end.

I was about to answer but she continued.

"and after all thoughs things you said about me earlier.." she shook her head.

"Courtney, I don't like her. I love you! she and I had a thing when we were 15, and she cheated on me. I thought I loved her. And it put me in a really bad place." I explained to Courtney who was now standing there listening looking at the ground. I watched the tears but knew I wouldn't be able to stop them until I explained everything fully.

"I don't want Sam dating her because I don't want her around, it just reminds me of bad things. I didn't believe love was real after that. Cause, I thought I felt it. Then I met you, and I felt a feeling. Finally I felt something again, it wasn't even the same as with ashley, it was different. Better."

"Courtney please believe me. I wouldn't do that to you, she did it to me, I would never,EVER. Everything I've told you was the truth and the truth only."

She looked up finally and made eye contact with me.

"I just can't be betrayed like that again.." She said quietly.

"I know baby, I know." I say and hug her and rub her back. Things get really hard in relationships when there were past problems before you met eachother.

Today was exhausting. I'd say, for the both of us. Alot of emotions that just suddenly came up. We both agreed that it was time to go home.

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