Promise? »» C.G.

Chapter 55»« I'm Negan

They took the woman and put her on a spike. I felt numb to it. Maybe I had become Negan. Dwight's wife, or girlfriend, whoever, went missing. Negan went to get Dwight. He locked him in a cell. Negan let me go to my room. I walked around the working area. I seen Eugene, but I didn't go talk to him. After a bit, I walked out to find Negan talking to Eugene.

"Oh, you really are just some asshole," Negan said. "Hello there, daughter." I sat on the steps as Eugene said, quiet shakily and stuttered,

"N-No. I'm not. I have PhDs in biochemistry, as well as immunology, and microbiology, and I've completed my doctorate, which makes me a doctor. Prior to the collapse, I was part of a 10-person team at the Human Genome Project, working under Dr. T. Brooks Ellis to weaponize diseases to fight weaponized diseases. Fire with, uh, you know...f-fire." Negan looked at me. Eugene lied. He was smart, but he better hope Negan don't find out and I don't say anything. I gave a look that said, 'yeah-he's smart'.

"Well, see," Eugene continued. "interdepartmental drinks were --," he got distracted by a walked growling. It's body broke in half.

"Uh-huh," Negan said. "All right, Dr. Smarty-pants. You ought to be able to crack this without breaking a sweat. you see, I have a lot of free labor here at the fence -- living dead pricks that help keep the riffraff out. Problem is, they don't keep. They fall apart. Like that poor sack of...pile of shit there. So, Dr. Smarty-pants, how do we keep them on their feet?"

"Uh..." He seemed afraid to answer, or just didn't know. He began crying, but said,

"You, um...smelt on the regs, correct? I saw that among the legacy equipment on the floor that you possess an operational smelter."

"And?" Negan asked.

"You already posses the means to resolve your issue. Step one, melt down the scrap metal. Step two, pour it over the compromised walker as they are in contact with the chain link. The liquid metal will harden... both maintaining bodily integrity for the walker as well as affixing them to the fence. Bonus points for covering their head and protecting them from head trauma from hostiles and calamities." Negan was impressed as he said,

"God damn! If that ain't the coolest thing I've ever heard in my life! Not only is that practical, it is just bad-ass! Look at you, Dr. Smarty-pants. Does Rick have you doing this kind of valuable stuff for him? Oh. His loss, our gain. I feel like I need to give you some kind of signing bonus here."

"Uh, w-well, I wa-I was gifted these pickles." Negan chuckled,

"Ah. No. As a token of my gratitude, I'm gonna send you over a few of my wives to your apartment tonight, show you a good time. Now, I don't think I have to worry about this. But who knows how truly smart you are? No sex. That is a grave no-no. However, you can have a little dinner, some drinks, share a few laughs. There is nothing like beautiful woman that smell good to make you feel human again."

"I wouldn't know anything about that. D-D-Did you say 'wives,' meaning plural?"

"Hell yes, I did. What does Dr. Smarty-pants say to his new bestest friend in the whole wide world?" Eugene wasn't paying attention, so he whistled.

"What does he say?" Negan asked again.

"Thank you," Eugene said. Negan turned to me.

"You come here asking for approval for lunch?" He asked. I just nodded.

"Ask," Negan said.

"Can I go get lunch now?" I asked, and he waited a moment. "Dad?" He smiled brightly. He nodded me off and I jumped up to go eat. I signed my name on everything I grabbed, which was a lot. I headed off to my room and devoured my lunch. If felt like days since I'd last eaten. Maybe, just maybe, I could get used to this. Maybe I wouldn't miss...them. God I missed them. That night, after dinner, I just chilled in my room. Dead silence. Me and I alone with my thoughts. I missed Carl, Daryl, little Judith, and Mom. God I missed Mom. I just wanted to see her. I thought about it. About ending it, but I couldn't. That next day, someone was getting the iron. Negan and I walked in, everyone knelt. He motioned that they could stand up and everyone did. Negan walked around a bit. He made sure Eugene paid attention and then he hit the doctor. Negan talked to him for a minute. My mind wandered to the last time I saw Carl. He made me feel sane at this point. Kept me from falling under Negan. I just hoped it was enough. Negan made me used the iron on him. Dwight handed it to me after I put on gloves. I got closer to him and Negan tried getting answers. Negan pulled my hand back and I dropped it. He pushed me back towards Dwight and I took off the gloves. Negan, then, shoved him into the fire. Negan pushed me towards leaving and I did. I locked my door and let out a breath of relief. I hadn't noticed, but I cried. I let out a few sobs. I hated that shit. What he did to people for letting others go. The next day, Negan needed me. He gave me a gun.

"Am I killing him?" I asked him as I noticed a guy kneeling.

"Yup," Negan said, and I seen Eugene standing off to the side.

"I want Lucille," I told him. Negan laughed and handed it over. I took the bat to the man's head. Once, twice, three times. I had felt better. I stood back and wiped blood off my face. Negan hollered,

"That's my daughter right there!" I gave him Lucille and went to clean up. Did I really just do that? Did I just--and with the bat? Did I just cave in like that? I felt like I was breaking. Maybe I was. Maybe I was turning into the cold killer Negan wanted me to be. A person I didn't want to be. I felt the scars under my clothes. All over my body. Some hurt physically, some hurt mentally. I hated this. Negan called for me. For dinner. Together.

"You doing okay? After killing that guy?" He asked, kinda nice. I shrugged.

"Going cold, exactly what I wanted," he muttered.

"I can't stop thinking," I told him. "Why kill someone who let someone go? I get it about the deals and stuff, but they'd never make it alone. Why care?" He sat back with a sigh and said,

"Because

I'm Negan."