Promise? »» C.G.

Chapter 46»»Would I Ever Have to Meet Him

(Y/n)

I couldn't focus on anything. I cried and cried. We got Carl to the infirmary. Michonne sat me down.

"Calm down and stay here," She said and took the blanket off of me. I gripped Beth's knife. Rick walked out and began killing walkers. I didn't hear anything. I was numb. A couple others went out there with him. Then I did. Six against hundreds. Then, I seen more people come out. I had tears going down my face and blood spattering on me. Everyone who knew how to fight, was fighting. There was a huge explosion and we seen fire. The walkers walked off. Finally, it was over. Dad came over with Mom and they hugged me. I could not stop crying. Then, I seen Enid. I hugged her. Mom got checked. I waited. Tears, damp tears stained my cheeks. My whole body went numb. Completely numb. My emotions shut themselves down. I watched Sam die. I watched Jessie die. I watched Ron die and Carl get shot. I would never be the same.

"How are you holding up?" Michonne asked as she walked over, cradling Judith. I looked up at her. I looked at Judith. She wanted me to hold her. I looked down.

"I'm not," I admitted. I wanted to cry again. I wanted to scream again. I wanted to punch something. But I felt...nothing. Weeks later, Carl was moving around. I was walking around. Beth's knife in my leg holster, and my hand gripping Daryl's old gun on my hip. I passed the memorial wall. It was a lot a ways from me, but I could read the names. You could still see 'Glenn' under the names. I stopped feeling anything. I got my wish. I went cold, again. I sat down and began writing. Mom came over.

"Hey," she said. I put my book down as she continued, "Where have you been?"

"What?" I asked.

"Everybody's been working for weeks to get this place back together and you just disappear. Do you sit in your room all day?"

"No."

"Then where'd you go?"

"Nowhere."

"Talk to me. Honey. Please."

"I watched people die, mother. I need some time."

"I'll be around. Come talk to me." She walked off. I kept writing. This was Beth's journal. I tossed it and put my head in my hands. I went outside the walls and Carl came with me. He stopped trusting me going alone. Enid followed us. There was a kite. I picked it up.

"What's that?" He asked also noticing the note.

"It got wet," I said. "It's all gone."

"Come on." He walked away and I followed him.

"It doesn't look that old," Enid said.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"I mean, we can't read what they wrote, but just by doing this, they're saying something."

"What?"

"'We're not alone.'" I chuckled.

"We knew that. We saw it. People died," he said.

"Why are we coming out here?" I asked.

"Cause we're kids. It's what they do."