Promise? »» C.G.

Chapter 57»«Proud

This wouldn't be the end of our fight with Negan. I knew that. I hoped it was, but...I knew it wasn't. Alexandria was safe, for now. All thanks to Sasha and, who I assumed gave her something to kill her, Eugene. We laid the dead to rest. Shared food. They still had working water. I went into a house that was Carl's. He still had my things. Beth's knife was one of the items. I grabbed some clothes before walking into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me, pressing it to the frame. Letting my hand feel that it was actually closed. I locked it and turned the knob to make sure it was locked. I started taking my clothes off. As I took my shirt off, I noticed the scars and faded cuts. My arms fell in front of me and my shirt fell to the floor as I stared at my body. Time seemed to pass so slow, but I stared at myself for maybe ten minutes. All the things Negan put me through showed on my body. There was a knock at the door that caused me to jump hard and my heart pound in my chest.

"(Y/n)?" Carl's voice rang from the other side. I let out a huge breath. "Are you okay in there?"

"Yeah," I called out, my voice cracking slightly. "Yeah, I'm okay." He turned the doorknob.

"Can I come in?" He asked. I looked over at the mirror. Carl already hated Negan, and he already wanted him dead, what more could this do? I turned to the door and put my hand on the lock.

"Can you promise not to stare? Or ask?" I asked. I knew he'd either be confused or know exactly what I meant.

"Promise," he said. I unlocked the door and took a few steps back. Closer to the shower. I cleared my throat before saying,

"Come in." The door open and Carl stepped in. I watched him look down at my body that I tried covering with my arms. He looked down and closed the door after he stepped all the way in the bathroom. He looked back up at my scars before looking me in the face. He stepped closer to me and I tensed. I didn't care that he saw me standing in jeans and a bra; I cared that he saw me covered in scars. He brought his hands to my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"I don't care what you went through over there," he told me. "I don't care how many scars are on your body, (Y/N). I think you're beautiful no matter what." He leaned down and started kissing my lips. I wanted to pull away. I did pull away a few times, but Carl kept kissing me. I didn't really mind it. My hands traveled from covering my body to his neck. We pulled each other as close as possible.

"Carl," I managed to speak. He stopped and pulled back. We both panted. I just looked at him. He lifted his shirt off. He let it drop to the ground. I seen his faint scar on his torso from when he was brought to the farm. He placed a hand on my waist and face. He caressed my cheek before the kissing became more passionate. We continued in the shower and we didn't stop until we were both satisfied. He left me alone to shower by myself. I dried myself off and got dressed. I walked out of the bathroom and seen Carl sitting on the bed and reading a comic. He looked up at me as I leaned on the door frame of the bathroom.

"You okay?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Negan wanted me to kill you because when he shot Olivia, I grabbed you," I said. Carl tossed the comic onto the bed and sat up. I took a deep breath and let it out when I said,

"I was able to kill...enough people to feel lost. To not want to remember what it was like before. To not want to care. And I know it's what he wanted."

"(Y/n)," Carl said. "You don't have to talk about it."

"I ironed someone," I said. "I bashed someone's head in with a baseball bat. I shot someone...and didn't ask why they were being executed." I had more I wanted to say, but I stopped; my mouth gaped like I wanted to say something. Carl didn't say anything. He just waited for me to keep talking.