Fighting Handsome Satan (book 1)

Chapter 36

Sydney's P.O.V.

When I wake up Matt is already awake scrolling through Instagram. I snuggle into him not wanting to get up yet. He puts his phone down and pulls me on top of him, kissing my head and rubbing my back softly.

"I can't believe I get to do a walk of shame out of your best friend's house, iconic." I stay put on Matt's chest, not making any move to get up. The little bit I have moved has let me know I am extremely sore and definitely will be walking funny when I get up.

"Or you can wear a pair of my sweatpants and a tee shirt," he says with a cute little smile. I think he loves me wearing his clothing as much as I love wearing it. If I don't start returning stuff soon he won't have anything left to wear.

"That could work too." I finally get up and stand up but don't move. He stands up with me and starts picking up our stuff thrown around the room. Matt's shirt is short enough that I can see the bruise on my inner thigh that he left. His eyes follow mine staring at the bruise. It is small, really just a little hickey chilling out.

Matt looks at me and instead of the proud look I expected from him he looks upset. "I got carried away Sy-"

I don't let him finish grabbing him and kissing him. I loved every second of what we did last night and I love the little reminders of it all he left behind. I previously thought hickeys were trashy but these are hidden, a little secret only I know about. "Stop that Matt, you know I have no problem saying what is on my mind. If I ever wanted you to stop or didn't like something you know I would speak up. Just relax alright, what are you so scared of?"

His arms wrap tightly around me and he kisses my forehead, leaving his lips there. "I am scared I will fuck this up and you'll leave." His voice is shaking a little and I hug him tightly. I don't know how to promise him I am going nowhere, how to ease his fears that he has had for over 10 years, but I sure will try.

A few tears slide down my face and he swipes his thumb across my cheek wiping them away. "Matt, I promise you that I won't leave unless you give me no other choice. I will fight for us with everything I have as long as you do the same."

"I am a shit person," he says. I wish he saw the person I saw because he is so far from a shit person. He has created this version of himself in his head that only lives in his head.

"Really? Because the Matt I know carried me when I sprained my ankle, held me after a nightmare, fought a guy who was talking shit behind my back, and after just 6 days of knowing me let me sleep over so I wouldn't have to go home to my empty house. The Matt I know is an amazing guy, I just wish he saw what I did." Matt picks me up and I wrap my legs around him. We sit at the edge of the bed, me whispering in his ear every nice thing he has done for me since we met. He tries to interject reminding me of the bad times but I am quick to remind him I wasn't that innocent in most of those situations.

As I sit on his lap reality sets in for me, for us. Matt is so far from ready for a romantic relationship. He needs to learn what it is like to just have someone in his life before he tries to take on being a boyfriend too. But I am willing to wait right here for him to be ready. I really like Matt, like really like him.

"You ready to get dressed and head downstairs, I am making breakfast for everyone." I sit up and kiss him before sliding off his lap. He opens the dresser and hands me a clean shirt and sweatpants before I walk into the bathroom.

When I get into the bathroom I take off his S.W.A.T. shirt and see a few more marks he left behind. I run my fingers over them smiling as last night replays in my head. I get dressed and wash my face wishing I had a toothbrush. I find mouthwash and use that hoping to at least take the smell of stale beer out of my mouth.