BLOGS AND CONFESSIONS (Extended Version)

BLOG #28

I HAVE TO BE OKAY

"Ok Coleen, calm, everything is gonna be alright. Don't cry self, people who degrade you down doesn't deserve your tears'

Another day had passed and I'm still here comforting my self as if I didn't get through this kind of situation. It sucks that your last bullet or I mean your last resort is yourself. After I found out that my crush fell into my best friends' arms my heart shattered into pieces. It was amputated perfectly. I don't what to feel but currently I'm still in pain. I don't have any rights to detain myself into them because I can't do anything about it. And the best solution that I can think of is to be happy for them even though it hurts, it will be heartbreaking.

A vibration felt on my pocket, I wiped my tears off and without hesitating I answer the call. I didn't bother to look who's calling.

"Hello Coleen? Where are you? I'm worried about you can you please tell me where you are?" It's her. My best friend Alisiya. The one that I'm talking earlier.

"Hello? Coleen? Can you h--" I immediately drop the call and released a heavy sigh. The pain didn't sunk in me. I can't get over what happened, it still fresh.

I'm here at my favorite place sitting to the side of the park. It's peaceful here no one can bother nor stop you. Here in this place, you can mesmerized by the light and beautiful scenery here. Somehow, it can help you to decide correctly.

Once again, my phone rang and it's alisiya calling...

I chose to ignore the call and let me continue to mooneye everything.

Talking to my best friend that I used to tell my rants and feelings to my special someone can't help me. It feels like I was hanging in the last rope of my life waiting for my death call.

It will not help me if I'll entertain any people, I chose to stay alone and I want to realize and wake my own illusions.

All along, all along, I'm just assuming that there is something going on us. I was using the assuming method again. I want to laugh on my own stupidity. Giving a meaning and some malice on the good things that he had done to me was a record breaking "katangahan" and I can call myself "assumera".

"I HAVE TO BE OKAY!" I shouted and laugh a little bit. I need to be okay so that I will say on myself that I survived this kind of situation.

But sad to say my eyes started to well up with tears. And there it goes, my tears race from each other. I felt pity on me, catering some love to the person who is really caring to everyone. How awful.

"You can't be okay"
"Being okay takes time, takes a process"
"Don't force yourself to be okay. Just endure it until it will be gone"
"You may be suffering pain and sadness right now but one day, you'll find yourself smiling and laughing again and it's true and pure. I assure you" That voice... I really missed that voice. I turned my head with a teary eyes but I can't see clearly. There was a woman sitting behind me.

It was me! The old me! The innocent and smiling me! The woman who knows to smile truly. It was dead when my heart buried and my sentiments went nowhere.

A/N: Thank you for reading and I hope you love it! Don't forget to click the VOTE BUTTON below and if you have requests and suchs just COMMENT it below. Loveyou. Muah!