I'm in the car looking at the moon. It's a perfect semicircle tonight. Sliced in half. Just like my heart.
I can't see clearly. My vision is clouded with the water in my eyes but I can still see the white, the glowing white of the moon, exuding purity. And it reminds me of how pure are the feelings I hold for you.
A few spots I can spot, flaws in the moon gleaming proudly. And I remember the moments of doubt that rarely float to the surface, but the love is strong enough to push them back down.
The car speeds up. I tilt my head, keeping the moon in my line of vision. I pray. But the moon can't keep up. I keep my head angled sideways, uncomfortable it may be, but if it means I can see it, I'd stay that way forever. Till the muscles in my neck can't move the other way ever again. And if I attempt to try, my neck would snap. That's okay. As long as the moon follows me.
A turn. Or two. And it isn't there anymore. I turn my head back, but there's no trace of it. The sky spread above, empty. I can't....see it. My heart drops. And so do the tears.
I hold my faith in the palm of my hand and douse my face in it. I know it's there. Even if I can't see it, it's there. Far away, it may be. Miles apart, it may be. But it's there. Just like you.
I look up at the dark sky again, a few stars smiling down at me. I smile back, reluctantly. And look away as quickly as I can. Water fills up my eyes, a whisper, I can't look at them. I can't.
How do I look at them when all they remind me of what's gone? How do I look at them when they make my heart full and yet ache till I collapse?
The moon, it's not here. Stars may light my way, but it isn't the path I wish to take.
People say, I'm a moon lover. I'm not. It's a portal. It takes me places. It's a mirror. It shows me people. So tonight, I let the moon be you, and sat by the window and cried.
