I'm Still Standing

57

Rachel

I've never seen myself as a business woman. When I was growing up and I said I wanted to start a restaurant I just wanted to cook, not be a business woman. I'm way too nice to be telling people what to do and I like to follow directions more than I like to make them. Maybe it's a cooking thing? So starting a restaurant wasn't really something I thought could happen. It was just a fever dream and now it's here. And it's been really nice, we've had a lot of big names come through here and I've made a lot of new friends. But it can get all overwhelming with the bills and signing checks and everything else that goes on behind the scenes in peoples businesses.

"We should go on a vacation" Jonathan says randomly as we get ready for bed. It had already been a long day and I'm not sure I was prepared to plead my case. Whatever it may be.

"What makes you think now is a good time for a vacation" I question.

"Because you need a break" he accuses.

"And what makes you say that" I wonder.

"Babe, ever since you graduated you've been working. And when you're not working you're following me to Canada and LA and everywhere in between supporting me and my career. I don't think you've stopped to take a break, even on your birthday" he accuses.

"I like to keep my mind busy. Keeps it from going someplace dark and then all of the sudden I can't find my way out" I explain.

"So a vacation would be perfect so you don't have to think about the bad but you're not working either" he says.

I think about it for a second before I turn to him.

"Where would we even go" I wonder.

"I don't care. Anywhere but here" he grumbles.

"When I was a little girl I always wanted to go to Paris" I start as he smiles down at me. "And never because it was the city of love but because the food there. Now I want to go for both reasons" I explain.

"I was thinking of a place with a beach but I've never been to Paris before. I think it would be nice" he says.

"I don't know if I can take off now. What if someone at the restaurant needs me? What about the dogs" I question making him laugh.

"Your restaurant will survive and you know Brandi and Brett would love to make some money taking care of the dogs and watching the house" he insists.

"I'm nervous. I've never left the business before" I insist.

He pulls me into his chest before wrapping his arms around me. I press my cheek to his heart and listen to his heartbeat. "I know you worry about the place with being gone. But too much of a good this isn't a good thing. With hockey coming up and all the Stanley cup stuff behind us we don't have a lot of time to go somewhere where it's just us.

We don't have to go if you don't want you. I don't want you to feel like you have to do this. I just... I thought it would be nice. We've almost been together a year and we haven't got to do anything nice for ourselves" he explains.

"I never said I didn't want to go. I just don't want to leave here and when I get back everything is different" I explain.

"It's just be a few days. A week tops. We can go on romantic boat rides and go up in the tower and eat seven meals a day. I can make it all happen, just say the word" he insists.

I pick my head up to look at him and see him already staring at me. I smile big as I let out a long sigh. "Alright, I'm in. But you have to teach me all the fun French sayings and I get to dress you" I smirk.

"Oh come on! You're going to make me look like a little French boy" he accuses.

"Yes I am. And I'm going to take a lot of pictures so we can add another shadow box to the living room and some more pictures to the timeline" I explain.

"Great. So I will have to remember this for the rest of my life" he mumbles.

"The rest of your life..." I tease.

He smiles even bigger as he squeezes me. "Yeah. Forever" he promises.

He pulls me into a soft kiss as my heart starts to get loud. After all this time, after all we've been through he still makes me nervous. And not like he doesn't want to be with me or he's too good for me, the kinda nerves that comes with knowing this man has my whole heart and he can do whatever he wanted with it. But trusting that he will hold my heart in his two hands and protect it, nourish it and help it grow. And he does that so well, that's why I'm so head over heels. Why I agree to running away from my life just to be with him in a place neither of us have ever been before.

Our love is unlike anything I've ever known. I haven't seen anything like it, heard anything like it, felt anything like this. Just being here in his arms made me feel whole, for the first time in my life I felt like I was wanted and it was the best feeling ever.

"How about we leave next week" he asks. "That gives us a few days to get flights and hotels and people to watch over our things while we're gone. By the time we get back it'll be hockey season but I'm ready to spend the last of my off time somewhere special with you" he explains.

"I think that's a wonderful plan" I smile.

We lay in bed for a little without the tv on or the radio. It was quiet but it wasn't silent. I could still hear his heart beat and I could still see our love. I let my fingers dig into his back as I pull him closer.

"Rachel baby" he asks.

"Yeah Jonny" I answer.

"What if we went off and got married" he asks me.

I look at him weird as I try to figure out what he was taking about. "What do you mean" I ask.

"Right now. Would you come with me to the courthouse and get married" he says.

"I'm not sure I get it" I admit.

"Do you need the big venue and the dress and the gifts? Do you have a color scheme picked out and bridesmaids and of course you would cater" he lists off.

I just smile as I shake my head. "It doesn't matter how I marry it matters who I marry.

And I want you Jon. I always have. Ten years from now I'll want you, thirty years from now I still want you" I promise.

"Good answer" he teases.