I'm Still Standing

5

Jonathan

After being sidelined from the ice for a month with this concussion I was finally cleared to practice again. It felt like forever, but I was finally able to be on the ice even if it wasn't in full participation. It felt nice to be with the guys and have a stick in my hand and a puck in my skates. I mess around with my friends with little issues with my head. I wasn't ready to play in a game quite yet, but I was close.

After practice I hang around the rink and hang out with the guys. I was 21 and didn't have a lot to do around here that kept me out of trouble. So I try to stay in the rink and focus on my job at hand.

I look across the room and see Jeremey standing there talking to some of the other guys and I stop. A wave of anger takes over me as I watch him live his life like he hasn't completely ruined someone else's. The audacity of this man to take someone like Rachel for granted, it's incredible. I don't get how he could keep her down. And I wanted to make sure he doesn't keep her down any longer.

I wait for everyone to leave before walking over. He smiles at me as I stop in front of him but I don't smile back. I just look at him disgusted by the way he treated his first born child.

"Hello Jonathan," he starts, "good to see you back out there."

"Can we talk" I ask him and he looks at me weird.

"Oh, erm sure. Lets go somewhere private" he insists.

So we head to the weight room and I close the door behind us. I make sure no one is in here before asking him some questions. "Have you told anyone about Rachel yet" I question.

He freezes once he noticed I knew something I shouldn't. He looks around too before stepping closer. "How do you know her" he asks.

"I met her when she was in the boxes not too long ago. And I approached her because she was just a beautiful mystery at this time, I didn't know who she was. I didn't know what she would mean to me.

And I got to know her, hung out with her a few times before she told me who she really was. Why she was there that day and why I never heard of her until then. She's ashamed of herself and that's because she's scared to tell people who she really is. Do you know how shitty it is to make someone feel that way" I ask him.

"I'm trying to fix this" he defends.

"How? What are you doing? Because as far as I can tell nothing has changed in the week and a half since she was at that game. She's still holding back even though she has so much potential to be more than you ever were to her" I almost yell.

It falls silent as we just look at each other. I'm sure this dude could lay me out in a second, but that's not what he wanted. He didn't know what he wants. "I don't know what to say to my family. How am I supposed to tell them that when I was a kid I had a kid with a woman I once loved. And now the woman is dead and the kid waited patiently for me to come back but I never did" he asks.

I freeze as I realize what he said. "Rachel's mom is dead" I whisper. He looks at me weird as he nods.

"Yeah. I looked up her obituary. She died not too long ago" he explains. Well I did not see that coming.

"So her mom died and she tried to reach out to you and you're still trying to hide her? How can you keep pushing this girl down" I ask.

He just shakes his head, "I can't just come out and tell everyone, it's not that easy."

"But it is" I argue.

"And how would you know" he questions.

"Because I might have only known her for a week and a half but what she has showed me is nothing short of beautiful. Something that everyone should have a chance to see. She loves the stars and going on runs and everything about food. Did you know she's in culinary school? She has been to almost every restaurant here in town so there isn't anything around here she hasn't experienced. One day she is going to be an amazing chef whether it's with you helping her or still going against her. She had been living in your shadow all her life and she's scared to be in the light. But she belongs there" I say.