I'm Still Standing

8

Rachel

My whole life I have never been in the spotlight. I went to a private school so my face wasn't all over the place and I didn't do any activities growing up. I would have loved to try hockey or gymnastics or maybe even dance. Something where I could express myself and make something out of myself. But instead I went to school then went home every day up until I went off to college, that's it. Mom insisted we protected Jeremy and respected his wishes and I don't get why. He didn't care about us, just about covering his own ass.

But I have to hand it to him, he is doing a lot better now. Of course this would have meant more if my mother could go out too, but all she wanted was for me to be free and now thanks to him I am. He's introduced me to some of his colleagues and when people ask about me he doesn't act like he doesn't know me. He takes the time to explain who I was and that meant a lot to me. Just to hear him say my name made a world of difference. Sure this is far from over but at least it finally started.

I stop off at a coffee shop on my way to class this fine morning to grab a hot chocolate. Unfortunately for me coffee doesn't agree with my stomach so unlike the millions of other college students I'm on my own here. So I stand in line and look around since I already knew what I wanted to order.

As I gaze around I notice the newspaper stand sitting by the door and a older couple looking at it. They look at the paper then at me before looking at the paper weird. For someone who was pretty much invisible all my life they sure were giving me a lot of attention. They start to talk quietly and I know it was about me, it was pretty obvious. Finally they stop discussing and pick up the paper before coming over and standing next to me.

"Excuse me miss, I don't mean to be rude. It's just, you look a lot like the girl in this paper and we were wondering if it's really you" the older woman asks.

She hands me the paper and I take a look. Low and behold I see myself on the front page with my dad hanging out at the game. The title "J.R's Secret Jr." was in bold across the top. My eyes nearly pop out of my head because I honestly believed that he would never tell people I'm his daughter. Even if they had stuff like this I thought he would deny it but this looked like he had a part in it.

"This is me" I whisper.

"Oh! Well in that case it's nice to meet you. We're big fans of Jeremy and had no idea he had a daughter when he was so young" the man explains.

"No one did" I assure him. "Do you mind if I purchase this" I ask them.

"It's not problem! We didn't intend on purchasing it, we just saw the picture and noticed the girl looked just like you" the woman explains.

"Well thank you for bringing this to my attention" I say softly.

She just smiles at me as she rests her hand on my shoulder.

"No problem deary."

I purchase a cup of hot chocolate and the newspaper to go before heading out. I decide that I should probably go back to my apartment so I don't get noticed again. I was in no shape to pay attention in class today and I wanted to read what was said.

So I let myself into my apartment and head straight to the couch. I sit down and pull out the newspaper before reading what was said.

"Jeremy Roenick is one of the best American born players in NHL history. He's is just the third American to score 500 goals and had played in over 1300 games earning over 1200 points. When it comes to Chicago there's few players more loved than the outspoken and feisty center. With the announcement of his retirement earlier this year he decided to return home to Chicago where his career first began. Where he was drafted and where we now know he first fell in love and had a kid that no one knew about. Not even the organization that gave him his glamorous life.

Jeremey was just 18 years old when he played his first games as a rookie in Chicago. He was under the bright city lights, adored by many and was said to bring the Blackhawks into relevance again. The whole city was at his feet waiting to see what he can do out on the ice and off of it. The pride he would bring to this organization was anticipated and the love he had for his city was strong. But he was just a kid who was given a lump of cash and was told not to get in trouble. That's easier said than done. 

In October of 1988 Jeremey fell in love, as all kids do. The lucky lady was the ever beautiful Adrianna Banner, a quirky teenaged Italian girl who worked at the library. She was a huge Blackhawks fan and rarely missed a game. The two met at what was then the old Chicago Stadium after a game one night and hit it off. They messed around as teenagers do and soon enough Banner found out she was pregnant.

Roenick was excited at first, he had always wanted a kid and to be a father. But he was just 18 years old, he had been on his own for a month and already got his girlfriend pregnant. This was something that could ruin the Blackhawks faith in him, his fans would question where his head is at, his family would be disappointed. He had a lot on his shoulders as is and he didn't want the media to be focused on his sex life and not what he was doing on the ice.

So he decided to keep them hidden, a secret from society. Banner agreed to lay low in the hopes that if they don't get found out he would stick around to be with his baby. For the first few years he helped raise their little girl and make the best out of a difficult situation. In July of 1889 little Rachel Rae Roenick was born into this world. Only not many people knew about it, just the parents and the doctors. Banner didn't tell her family what happened and Roenick didn't either. For a while they raised their daughter in secret, he set them up in a nice place and promised to take care of them.

As time went by he started showing up less and less. He got treaded to Phoenix when Rachel was seven and stopped coming around all together when she was 12. He had lost all contact with them in efforts to focus on his current wife and the family they were making. He never told anyone why he visited Chicago or what he did when he was there. And eventually Banner and their daughter stopped trying to reach out to him. Roenick describes Banner as a "beautiful soul" and "the right girl at the wrong time." Although their relationship was short and a little crazy he still appreciated what she taught him and all she did for him even though he wasn't what he promised to be.

Jeremey said there's a lot from his life he regrets, whether it be his famous media spats between him and guys on other teams or not taking a shot when he had one. But if you ask him, his biggest regret is not being the father he should have been to his first born daughter. Roenick said, "Rachel is a incredible person. She is stronger than she knows. When her mom died and I had no clue as to what happened, she did it all on her own. What she was like when she was 18 was what I should have been. So wise and so kind to others. She has a hockey player mentality where she just wants everyone to be happy. But I had taken so much happiness from her I didn't want to take anymore. I'm hoping that now this is out there and people know her name they won't think of her as my secret kid. They'll see her as the amazing woman she is."

While Chicago has some secrets, the one of Rachel Roenick might be the best kept one. She went 20 years in this city attending Hawks games and living her life never revealing who her father was. She now attends college and wants to open her own restaurant someday, a dream she shared with her late mother. Jeremey hopes they can both move on and hopefully build a relationship, one he wished he never would have lost."

I let out a long sigh as I set the paper down. I start to play with my hair like I do when I get nervous. I didn't know what to think. This was a lot because I went from no one knowing who I was to everyone knowing who I was.

But he still kept true to his word. He set me free and now... now I have to figure out where I want to go.