I'm Still Standing

17

Jonathan

Ever since I was a little boy I've had one emotion and it was pure determination. Everything I did, I did with a purpose. I was serious about working out, about my family, about school. I found little enjoyment in life because I thought I had to be tough, I had to be doing more than I was expected to so I would be seen as better in most peoples eyes. If you ask my mom she would tell you the same thing. I was a weird child because I thought workout circuits are fun and eating healthy is a passion of mine. The whole Captain Serious thing isn't unwarranted, that is a very earned nickname no matter how much I hate it. And I hate it a lot.

But lately I haven't been feeling something other than being serious. I've been feeling nervous and giddy and my head isn't where it's supposed to be. I was constantly thinking about the future and praying that Rachel is in it. I'm constantly checking my phone to see if she texted me. I make every excuse in the book to go see her. I find every reason to call and hear her voice over the phone or better yet in person. She was the only person I've ever dreamed about, that I opened my home and my heart to and it's not hard to tell why.

Because this new feeling I was feeling was love. It was unconditional and undying love. And I didn't want to feel anything else. I just wasn't sure how to tell her.

So I had this idea. This awful idea where I invite her over and make her a nice dinner and tell her what I feel. I let her know just how much she means to me and that I wanted her in my life forever.

So I head to the kitchen and pull out the stuff I bought for her to use when she's here. And I watch her cook all the time, I should be able to figure it out by now.

I've learned that she loves all food, but Chinese food is her favorite. So I decide to start with the rice because figuring out that much should be easy. So I pour water into the pot and wait for it to boil on the stove. Once it looks like it's boiling I put the rice in the water and wait a minute for it to be done. Once the one minute is passed I drain the rice and let it sit in the sink. Once the water is gone I pull out a spoon and see how I did. So I stick it into the rice before feeding myself. As soon as I try to bite down there's a big crunch and I spit out the rice everywhere.

"It said "one minute rice" how is it not done" I scoff. I toss the spoon into the sink before shaking my head. That tasted like cardboard.

I let out a sigh before deciding to change my focus to the chicken. I decided teriyaki chicken was probably the safest bet and it couldn't be much worse than the rice. I had never felt more betrayed in my life.

So I get the chicken out and a new pan. The instructions were easy, cook the chicken and add the teriyaki sauce. Simple enough. So I toss the chicken in the pan and I watch it carefully. When I felt like it was time to flip it I grab the flippy things and try to turn it over. Only I couldn't get the chicken off of the pan. "What the fuck" I mumble and I try my hardest to flip the damn thing but it wouldn't budge.

I get off as much as I can but there was half of it still stuck to the bottom of the pan. It starts to burn setting off the smoke alarms and now I have a whole another problem on my hands. My windows up here don't open and if I set off the sprinkles this high up I'm down a lot of money. So I move the pan to the sink and open the front door to air it out.

As soon as the door opens I see Rachel standing there in a cute pink sweater. She looked like a stuffed animal I just wanted to squeeze her. "Is everything okay in there" she wonders and my smile falls.

Shit.

I run back inside and she follows behind me. I go to throw some water on the chicken to cool it off and make it stop smoking.

"NO" she yells but it was too late. I turn on the water and there was a bunch of sizzling and popping followed by a lot of smoke.

Enough smoke to set off the sprinklers drenching everything in my kitchen in water including me and Rachel.

"Jonny" Rachel screeches.  "What the hell is going on?"

"I..." I start. I turn to her and let out a sigh of defeat. "I had this big plan for dinner tonight. I was going to try to make you dinner to impress you but the one minute rice certainly doesn't take one minute to cook and there's more than just chicken and teriyaki that goes into making chicken teriyaki.

I wanted tonight to be special because I was going to tell you..." I trail off.

"You we're going to tell me what" she quizzes.

"I was going to tell you that I love you" I whisper.

I feel the water drop off of my eye lashes as the water stops coming from above. We both stand there soaking as she looks into my eyes. She had the biggest smile on her face as she looks at me.

"Baby if I wanted to date a good cook I would date one of the guys from school. I'm with you because I love you too, it's as simple as that" she assures me.

I smile a little as I try to calm my beating heart. "You love me" I whisper.

"Of course" she says as she touches my face. She pulls me into a kiss and suddenly I wasn't freaking out anymore.

Even after I almost started a fire she still loved me. Through my flaws and quirks and failed attempts to seem sensitive she still saw me and still loves me.

"I've made a mess Huh" I whisper on her lips as we break apart.

"You did. But we can have some fun cleaning it up together. It's what good couples do" she assures me.

So we pick up the faulty food and clean up all the water. After the fire department was pushed away and I get us a change of clothes we decide to go out for dinner instead. We find a nice restaurant by the water and decide to just hang out for the night. There was a little twinkle in her eyes that made my heart beat faster every time she looked at me like this.

"I really appreciate what you tried to do earlier" she starts and I blush

"You mean start a second Chicago Fire" I tease making her giggle.

"No" she shakes her head. "You did something you haven't done before and never intending on doing just to show me how much you loved me. That's kinda incredible" she claims.

"Well I really do love you, more than I can show or fail to show in this case" I insist.

"I know. I can feel it when you kiss me, or when you hold me. But it doesn't hurt to hear either" she smirks.

"Well I'm not going to miss a chance to tell you ever again" I assure her.

"Good" she smiles.