I'm Still Standing

42

Jonathan

It's June now and the Flyers series was getting pretty tight. The first two games at home were a little sloppy because we had such a long time off between the Confrence finals and the actual finals. But we get back into it as we make the trip out to Philadelphia. The Flyers were a physical team but we got this dude named Dustin Byfuglien who not only knows how to score timley goals but how to beat up a guy or two along the way.

After doing a morning skate and team breakfast I decide to head back to the hotel and call Rachel. I share a room with Patrick but he wanted a nap so he takes the bedroom and I go to the living room so I could talk.

"Morning Babe" she starts and I smile.

"Good morning baby, how have you been" I wonder.

"I'm pretty good. I got through physical therapy and besides the swelling it was pretty easy. Now I'm resting and icing trying to figure out how to get Tommy to stop biting the toilet seat" she claims and I laugh. He was a little nuisance no doubt, but the cutest little nuisance.

"How is my boy" I wonder.

"He's doing just fine. He's gotten plenty of belly scratches in your absence" she promises.

"Good" I smile.

"Can I ask you a question" she wonders.

"Of course" I promise.

"Are you the type of guy that wants to get married, to have a family" she wonders.

The line falls silent as I sit there. I'm 22 years old, that kind of stuff scared the hell out of me. I wasn't sure what I wanted or when I wanted it. Being in a relationship is hard enough as is without trying to plan a wedding and have kids.

"I haven't really thought about it" I try.

"Well do you see yourself getting married" she wonders.

"Not for a long time, honestly. I'm so young, I'm not sure I want to be tied down" I claim.

"Tied down" she asks.

"No! Not like that" I try.

"Then what is it like" she wonders.

"I just, I don't see the rush. Why do we have to get married" I question.

"It's the principle of the thing" she defends.

"I love you, isn't that enough" I question. 

I hear her sigh on the other line as it falls silent. I didn't want to get upset but this wasn't the conversation I imagined us having right now. "Why would you say the things you say to me and not intend on marrying me" she questions.

"I do want to marry you, maybe one day, just not any time soon" I say.

"When? Because I spent my whole life waiting for a man to mean something to me and I don't want to go through that again. I've wasted so much time sitting around asking where my happily ever after will come, I don't know how much more of my life I can spend sitting there wondering the same thing" she defends.

"What we have already means something to you" I argue.

"It means everything to me" she promises. "But I watched my mom love a man and hurt in silence as she waited for him. You're my everything Jon and I don't want that to one day be gone."

"Why do we need to get married to be happy together" I question.

"Sometimes I want more than bare minimum. I spent my whole life just getting by, is it my fault I want to marry you" she wonders.