REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
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I actually really like the sound of this concept, it seems really interesting. As far as the character being unfinished, that's fine. It's easier to finish something when you haven't finished it.
Character information
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For an unfinished character, this is actually very good. The personality works and he's well described. There aren't any needed corrections here so maybe keep working on him and develop him more.
Relationships
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These relationships sound interesting but are obviously unfinished so just work on finishing them. Make sure that the relationships effect the character and help him develop too.
Backstory
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These work pretty well but there are a couple of things. I don't think greif is the right word because that tends to be when you're saddened by the loss of a loved one of someone you admired and he wouldn't have those connections to Bonds. However, I belive the same events could take place if that's simply replaced with guilt, so there's not much you need to do there.
The other issue is that I think it would be a good idea to add key events outside what takes place in the main plot, like showing interactions with other clan members and his family.
Stats
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Stats are well balanced so this all works well.
Final thoughts I really like the sound and concepts of what you've come up here and I think you've got a really good universe. Just a couple of tweaks with the character and some simple additions and everything should be good.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
