OC reviews And Tips (Closed)

Review 2 // Clarietta Yhenni

We got another oc and my first oc from an already existing universe, so this should be fun. I'll be using images from the actual comment given this time so I don't have to type everything out again because that's a lot of effort. Hope ya don't mind PowerToLePotatoYEET

Also I haven't seen Harry Potter in a long while, I still know it pretty well, but excuse me if I'm a bit rusty.

Basics and grounding

Character information

Okay, so I genuinely don't have much to say here at all, she seems like an incredibly well thought out character. She seems believable, a lot of people forget that this is still a school we're talking about and that not everything has to be tragic. The one thing that I think could be improved upon is by adding some more positive traits to her personality. You've only really mentioned a negative thing about her, which is a completely realistic trait none the less, but giving her an equally positive attribute to balance out her personality would make it perfect.

Relationships

The only problem I have here is the grouping of slytherins, how does this play out? Because she is very trusting, but doesn't like slytherins. What is her reasoning for this? I think it's good that she's not interested in anybody, which is expected since she's in the younger years. Once again, I'm struggling to find anything to actually correct.

Backstory

This is something that stands out to me, whilst she is a well thought out and balanced character, you don't want to make it that way so that she's almost boring, I'm not saying she is. But maybe including more details about her home life or some sort of wild friend or event (it doesn't have to be life changing or tragic in anyway) that's shaped the character into who she is could really make her an interesting character.

Other

This is good, nobody's good at everything, but everyone's good at something. This makes her feel pretty realistic. But what about the other skills shown in the series? Is she good at flying or any of the other subjects?

Stats

These stats make sense judging on her age and what she can and can't do. They seem realistic and not overpowered at all, you could even make some of them higher and it would still be fine.

Final thoughts
I genuinely really like this character, she's realistic and well planned out with nothing too extreme going on with her. That being said, you don't want her to be too bland, we are trying to make an interesting and unique character after all. Now, I'm not saying completely change an aspect of her to make her crazy unique, she's a very good character. But, like I said earlier in the Backstory section, adding some kind of event or person, positive or negative (most people jump to back stories being tagic be they certainly don't have to be), could really add to this character and show us why she is how she is. This could also be a way to insert new personality traits into her character so that there's something to balance the negative naivety.

But despite all that, this is a really good character for an existing universe and you've done a really good job, so we'll done ^^

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you of course do not have to listen to what I've said. This us all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*