REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
This review is incredibly long and well thought out so I had to actually go to this persons book to review this character by Qwertymalcolm67
My comments will be in bold
Basics and grounding
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This universe concept is really cool and clearly very well thought out, if the rest the character stuff is as well planned as this, this review is gonna be weirdly short because I'm not going to go digging for faults where there is none.
Character information
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Like I said previously, this character profile is incredibly detailed, probably the most detailed I've ever had, so there isn't much I can tell you to improve on since it's so incredibly well planned out. I love his character design and he seems like a pretty well done and well rounded character. I think that you could potentially give his normal form more positive traits, I understand he's meant to juxtapose his alter ego, but realistic people have positive and negative attributes.
Relationships
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You've clearly put a lot of thought into his relationships with others, which is appreciated since most people do tend to brush over the relationships to focus on the character. The relationships seem pretty realistic and well thought out so I have nothing but praise for this section. I also like that there was thought and reasoning put into his relationship status, so really good job on that. I'm fine with having a lot of enemies, since that creates more plot points.
Background
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He has a very common backstory for superheros, basic life and then something unique and extraordinary happened to them. This story is very popular for a reason though, it works for this kind of thing. The murder thing isn't as common, but being determined to solve a mystery isn't rare either. The only thing here is to ass more unique and unusual details to the back story to be the cherry on top of this story.
Other/stats
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Please be care will his alter ego's abilities, I understand that he's a super human thing, but giving so many abilities and incredibly high stats makes him seem incredibly overpowered. I recommend having one stay that's a hell of a lot lower then the other ones in this case and maybe one or two less abilities.
Final thoughts This character is very well thought out so there's really not much wrong with it at all, but there are a couple of things that can be change and improved. Overall, this is an incredibly good and well thought out character, so good job!!
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you of course do not have to listen to what I've said. This us all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
