REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
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Cool cool.
Character information
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This could be interesting and his personality works. I assume strange colours such as eyes and hair is a common occurrence in this world so I'll let it slide.
The main issue really is that I don't want you to try and put too much into one character, whilst I quite like his personality, try not to glamorise it because it isn't a good thing. It's so much to work with you might overdo it so be careful.
Relationships
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These relationships are fine just make sure they're developed and make sure they effect the character.
Also reader shipping, that's cool, I'm getting more of those nowadays which is quite strange.
Backstory
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Okay so this is a lot. The most post it works but be careful with leaving the child on the doorstep routine because it's pretty common in orphan stories. The beating up bullies thing works but you don't really show the other parts of his personality that have been described.
It feels like the last part is kinda rushed like you have to work out the demon stuff more. Simce it's your universe you need to figure out how all that works and flows in the universe so it all fits nicely together. The same goes for assassination jobs because that feels like it came out of nowhere.
Other
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Be careful with having a lot of powers and make sure that there are drawbacks.
I feel like a good theme song for him could be Siren by Kailee Morgue, but that'd be mainly referring to his sexual allure powers and potential relationship with the reader.
Stats
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These work fine so no issues here.
Final thoughts You just really need to smooth out a few things with this character and make them flow better but there isn't really any major issues, so all I can really say is just be careful.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
