REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to get to it, I normally try to do review in one to two days but I got caught up with college and seeing all my friends.
My comments will be in bold
Basics and grounding
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Ooooh, I actually really like the sound of this because it's so hard to find well planned out fantasy universes. However, when writing a story that introduces this many new concepts, try to introduce them gradually in a way that is well explained.
Character information
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I really like the sound of her so far, she sounds very well balanced and thought out to the point where there's not actually much I can day here. As far as her name goes, I like it, there's nothing wrong with it.
Relationships
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These are some pretty interesting relationships, they're kinda complicated so whenever you write a piece involving these characters make sure they're well represented and you see the relationships unfold.
Backstory
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So far this is the only part I have some kind of genuine problem with. For a character's backstory, this is very vague, there needs to be more detail and description. How did she lose her memory? How do her new life and her old one differ? Things like that should and could be added to make this character backstory more detailed and more importantly, make sense. Other
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This works, as long as the abilities are explained and why they don't work like they should.
Stats
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These stats are fine. Also, the long hair thing isn't necessarily true, it's more of a stereotype and people has different tastes and types.
Final thoughts For the most part, I really like this character, all that's needed is some further development but apart from that, good job!
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
