Review 46 // Nero

112 8 1
                                    

An oc for an original universe by SuperMapleGirl

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

Basics and grounding

Rất tiếc! Hình ảnh này không tuân theo hướng dẫn nội dung. Để tiếp tục đăng tải, vui lòng xóa hoặc tải lên một hình ảnh khác.

More information on this universe is needed for me to understand it better

Rất tiếc! Hình ảnh này không tuân theo hướng dẫn nội dung. Để tiếp tục đăng tải, vui lòng xóa hoặc tải lên một hình ảnh khác.


More information on this universe is needed for me to understand it better. The only thing I really know about this is that it has something to do with wishing. I recommend writing a paragraph about the universe in preparation for sending this for another review or just notes for yourself.

Character information

Sorry, links don't work in my comment section so I can't see the appearance bit

Rất tiếc! Hình ảnh này không tuân theo hướng dẫn nội dung. Để tiếp tục đăng tải, vui lòng xóa hoặc tải lên một hình ảnh khác.

Sorry, links don't work in my comment section so I can't see the appearance bit. I recommend adding some more complex and unique character traits, both positive and negative to balance her out more. Considering her backstory, I don't think she would be completely human, I understand that she is a wish, but I feel like that would make her some kind of entity since she wasn't birthed or anything like that.

Also I think you should consider giving her some more interesting and unique hobbies.

Relationships

Developing these relationships further could really help with understanding who these people are to her and why they do/don't like each other

Rất tiếc! Hình ảnh này không tuân theo hướng dẫn nội dung. Để tiếp tục đăng tải, vui lòng xóa hoặc tải lên một hình ảnh khác.

Developing these relationships further could really help with understanding who these people are to her and why they do/don't like each other. It can really add to your character.

Backstory

Since wishes are a thing in this world, you should develop a magic system and explain how everything works in the universe

Rất tiếc! Hình ảnh này không tuân theo hướng dẫn nội dung. Để tiếp tục đăng tải, vui lòng xóa hoặc tải lên một hình ảnh khác.

Since wishes are a thing in this world, you should develop a magic system and explain how everything works in the universe. Worldbuilding is a lot harder then character building, so I recommend putting more time into your universe other then your characters at first so you have a stable world to work with.

Other

Again, I can't use links, but I am curious about what song you've chosen so if you can comment the name I'll check it out

Rất tiếc! Hình ảnh này không tuân theo hướng dẫn nội dung. Để tiếp tục đăng tải, vui lòng xóa hoặc tải lên một hình ảnh khác.

Again, I can't use links, but I am curious about what song you've chosen so if you can comment the name I'll check it out. Once again, she has magical abilities, so surely she can't just be human. You need to build upon how these wishes work and how the universe works around them.

Stats

I'll give you the same advice I give to everyone, have at least one low stat and one high stat at most

Rất tiếc! Hình ảnh này không tuân theo hướng dẫn nội dung. Để tiếp tục đăng tải, vui lòng xóa hoặc tải lên một hình ảnh khác.

I'll give you the same advice I give to everyone, have at least one low stat and one high stat at most. Most of the stats should be mid-range. Most of these stats are too high and it makes the character seem overpowered, especially if she is actually a human. I recommend rethinking these and seeing how you can make her more balanced.

Extra

This is reasonable and understandable, but again, this makes her seem like she's an entity and not a human

Rất tiếc! Hình ảnh này không tuân theo hướng dẫn nội dung. Để tiếp tục đăng tải, vui lòng xóa hoặc tải lên một hình ảnh khác.

This is reasonable and understandable, but again, this makes her seem like she's an entity and not a human.

Final thoughts
There are some interesting concepts here and I think you just need to work on and develop this character more. Think about things logically and build upon your universe so your characters fit in better with the world and establish boundaries. With some work, this could be a really interesting character.

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*

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