Shawn Mendes Imagines

121 - I'm Done

It was cold, as one would expect during winter. No matter how many layers of sweaters, hoodies, long sleeved shirts, and blankets I put on, none of them can warm up the coldness that ran throughout my body. The worst part of this is when the person that usually ignites that flame into your soul just happens to be thousands of miles away.

I no longer know where he is. With his hectic schedule, I could merely assume that he's either out of the country or has to make appearances on events for the sake of public relations. I knew what I signed up for when we became a thing. However, I could not help but wish things were different, that we can go out in public without worrying about the next headline, about what everyone else would think. The closest we could get would either be through Facetime, Skype, or when he would finally come home.

I sighed as I laid on the bed, curling up in a fetal position while staring at his empty side of the bed. I felt my eyes start to water and tried to swallow the lump forming in my throat. I didn't want to cry. Not again. Not after crying myself to sleep for months on end, especially when I have to watch him be "happy" with his PR stunt of a "girlfriend". My thoughts were abruptly stopped as my phone rang, his name popping up. I wiped my eyes and put on a fake smile as I accepted his request to video call.

"Hey love." He greeted, his smile so wide it could put the Cheshire Cat to shame.

"Hey Shawn." I replied, taking in the sight in front of me. "Damn, my man looks hot. Why are you so dressed up?"

He chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. He was wearing a black button up shirt inside a dark gray suit and had a tie the same shade as his suit. A sharp pang of hurt and jealousy shot into my heart at the thought that I will probably never be the one to walk beside him when he's all dressed up and looking that good. Must be nice to be his clothes. At least they get to be close to him.

"You like it? We're going to be attending a charity dinner tonight and they even invited us to perform."

"You look absolutely breathtaking, Shawn."

"How are you, by the way? It's been a while since we last talked."

"I'm good. School has been hectic to the point that I had to seek for comfort from a giant stuffed panda. But otherwise, I'm okay." Would be better if you were here with me.

"Oh y/n... I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you at the moment. I'm sorry I left a few days right after new year."

"Baby, it's not your fault. You have your own life to live, your own dream to pursue. I have mine too. I honestly don't blame you for not always being there."

"But it's my job to be."

"Shawn, we're not doing this again, okay? I sometimes do wish you put me first but I know that your priority is your career. It's something you've wanted to achieve before you even met me so who am I to get in the way of that?" Yes, I put you above everything and you don't share the same sentiment but it's okay. I have no right to complain about it anyway.

"But I'm your boyfriend so-"

"Can we please just stop talking about this? We've been through this so many times in the past. No matter how much you insist that it's your job to take care of me, my answer will still stay the same so can we please just drop this?"

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, as if relieving a migraine. "Fine."

"Good."

"So-"

"Hey Shawn, we have to leave in five minutes so that we can do as many  interviews as we can on the red carpet." A familiar female voice stated.

"Okay. Just a minute." He said, looking up from the screen to reply to her before looking back into the camera and flashing an apologetic smile.