Shawn Mendes Imagines

7 - Broken

*trigger warning*

Darkness cannot be escaped. It will always be present no matter where you go, without a light to guide you. It's like everything you've ever known disappearing before your own eyes. That's exactly how I feel at the moment.

Tears streamed down my face as the voices echoed in my head.

"Worthless"

"Pathetic"

"Ugly"

"Unwanted"

"Alone"

"Broken"

"Freak"

"Nobody cares about you"

"Everyone will leave you"

"You're not special at all"

"Nobody likes you"

"Everybody hates you"

"Everyone left you on your own"

"You deserve to die"

"No one will ever love you"

It was all too much. I don't know if I could take it. The medication, the therapies, the books... They don't work. They all tell me I could let it go but depression is a sickness, not a choice. They tell me to act as if it wasn't there but it always comes back and slaps me like a bitch. The words were all told to me by people whose opinions mattered to me the most and the people I didn't want to believe but they somehow got it to stick in my brain. It's funny how someone who tries to make everyone happy is the one who's damaged the most.

My phone started ringing by my bedside table. I reached for it, not moving away from the corner of the room or breaking my curled up position. I was able to get a hold of it and answered it without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?" I answered weakly.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" My best friend, Shawn asked worriedly.

"It's nothing, Shawn. I'm fine."

"I'll be over in five."

That was all he said before hanging up. I looked down on my arms to see red liquid seeping through the white gauze on my wrists. I know I promised to stop. I know I've been clean for more than a year but the pain just keeps coming back. Sometimes, physical pain is better than feeling the emotional pain you're experiencing at the moment.

"Y/n? Y/n, where are you?" Shawn's voice echoed throughout the empty house.

"Y/n, come out please. I need to know if you're okay."

I just sat there, curled up as he shouted for me. The door to my room suddenly opened as light escaped into my dark surroundings. His chocolate brown eyes landed on me as relief flooded his features. He ran over to me, kneeling in front of me before wrapping his arms around me. He pulled me towards him and cradled me in his arms.