Meow~

Why Is There An Extremely Sexy Naked Man In My Lap?~

"They're downstairs with the other kittens and Alice. That one little fucker, the silver one? He's a royal pain in the ass. He yowled at me for a while and then when I woke up, he was curled up in between my boobs. I wanted to punt him." She grumbles.

I chuckle, imagining the scene despite how horrible it may sound, and rummage through the drawer. I pull out an old t-shirt that used to belong to my dad, with the Doritos's logo on front, and tug it on with some black spandex shorts from my volley-ball days. Twisting back to my bed, I crouch down and charge forward. 

Slick almost flies off the bed when I crash down, but I tug him close to my body so he doesn't. He looks distressed and a little frazzled. "Poor Slick! I've been favoring Deidara, haven't I? I'm so sorry." I nuzzle my nose into his belly, pressing kisses. "I'll give you your share of loving now!"

Sarah cracks up. "Oh my god, you should see his face! The poor thing!"

I giggle and shower Slick with a few more kisses before falling back, onto my back, releasing him. The disturbed cat elegantly stands, casting an narrowed look my way, before moving further down-away from my arms. I suck in a deep breath, preparing to sigh, and then freeze.

Something warm, deliciously battery wafts through the air.

"FUNNEL CAKES!" The words rip from my lips in a shrill scream, as I scoop up Deidara- who made the mistake of venturing closer to me-and fly from the room with speeds race car drivers would be envious of. Holding the kitty to my chest like a football in my left arm, I catapult myself over the thick wood railing and drop to the first floor. The impact spears up my calves, bursting each and every cell within my legs with pain, but I ignore it. I run into the kitchen, past the table of conspiring kitties, and jump onto the counter beside the stove-where Alice is working. I cross my legs in front of me, set the incredibly pale Deidara in my lap, and set my hands on my knees.

"Took you long enough." Alice murmurs, smiling. Dory sits beside me, little round white eyes wide. He looks at me as if I'd just grown a whisker.

"It took a bit for the wonderful smell to make it to my room." I stare at the heavenly sizzling batter.

She chuckles. Funnel cakes are my favorite things in the whole world, save for Naruto characters. My mother made them once for breakfast, after my first fair trip when they'd learned of my new-found love for the pastries, because she'd been determined to learn how to make them properly. She'd always joked about how she was going to make me one for a birthday cake-but never got around to it. After her death, Alice took it upon herself to learn how to make them and has proceeded to make them every Saturday since.

Picking up a spatula, Alice fishes the little round cake out and slides it onto a paper plate. Before she can move, I am sprinkling powdered sugar over it and taking it from her grasp. I peck her sweetly on the cheek. "Thanks Momma!"

"Welcome, baby." She smiles back, drizzling more batter in so she can make another one.

I trot over to the table, carefully juggling my kitten and my little piece of heaven in both my hands. I set the funnel cake down onto the large dining room table once I enter said room and set Deidara on the table. "This," I point to the cake, shooting my cat a pointed look, "Is the only thing in the universe better than your namesake."

He sniffs hesitantly at the air.

"I will let you have a small piece, only because I love you. But that is all you are getting." I break off a small piece and yelp, burning my fingers. I stuff two fingers into my mouth and suck, frowning darkly and glaring at the culprit. But my anger demolishes. I can't be mad at my precious little piece of heaven. It's too good.