Steven Universe fic

part 17 Chapter Seven: Departed

Steven stepped off of the warp pad, numbly holding the gem shards he could carry in his hands in front of him, as though he didn't want to take his eyes away from them.

He passed through Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, even Connie who fell entirely silent at the sight of him.
They parted like the red sea before him,  as he silently made his way to his room.
He stepped toward his desk, setting the broken gem down on the table and immediately beginning to slowly, and carefully sort out the peices until he could fit them in small piles.

There were a lot.

But he counted each and every one of them. Going back and forth from the kindergarten for several days to make sure he hadn't missed a single one.

396 shards. Some were tiny, little slivers that could only be seen with a magnifying glass. Others were larger, and still shown with the same brilliance of the whole.

"Steven?" Pearl stood in his doorway, gently knocking on the frame to grab his attention. He looked up from the shards, his tired eyes drifting toward her, he had been crying.
She knew that much.

She hesitated.

"Greg says it's customary.." she sighed, unsure if she could request such a thing of him, "for humans to hold...memorial services"

Her eyes trailed to the gem shards on his desk, and she dragged in a small, ragged breath. "For loved ones."

Steven stared at her for a moment before looking down at Spinel. He forced a small smile and turned to face Pearl.

"I think that would be nice."

Steven and his father wore black suits, even the gems had made themselves appear in the traditional mourning garb, everyone had gathered on the sands in front of the temple, even the diamonds came down.

A lot had changed in those months. Jasper returned to earth to reconcile for her past, Blue had returned her gems to their homes safely, Yellow had even helped rebuild homeworld.
White diamond was still very pink and very childish. Steven didn't know how to fix whatever the beast had done to her, but at least she was easier to get along with.
Gemkind was flourishing.
Steven wasn't.

"She tried to kill me, uhm, a few times." Steven laughed nervously, "but she was still a good friend. A best friend."

He looked down at his feet, blinking away the tears that were forming in his eyes. He could cry. But not here.

"She protected me," the words nearly caught in his throat as he stood in front of his closest friends next to a small podium with the very badly taken picture of he and Spinel in front of the Big Donut. It was the only picture he had of her.

"I think that's all she really wanted," he continued, "to be a good friend."

He picked one of the forgetmenots from her. Bouquet and twisted it in his fingers. "I promised I wouldn't let her get hurt..."

He gripped the microphone, his breath trembling as he tried to hold back his tears.

"All she cared about was not letting me get hurt. It's what made her so good." He smiled softly, "even though she got angry, or scared, or sad, she never wanted anyone else upset because of her. She grew a lot. Changed a lot, and I can tell you-"

He gasped, forcing a laugh before continuing, "I can tell you that if she were here she'd say she did bad, or that she isn't good enough. But she was wrong. She was never bad, and she was always- always good enough."

Steven nodded, unable to continue, and set the microphone down next to Spinel's picture before heading down the aisle toward the back where Connie stood. She offered him a smile, as the gems and people began moving from their seats to console eachother.

Steven had never been to a funeral. He never thought he would, honestly, seeing everyone gather for Spinel, whether they knew her or not didn't make him feel better. At all.

He caused this. He let this happen. And he couldn't let it go. No amount of consolation, or comforting from Connie helped that. The only thing he wanted to be around was the broken pieces of Spinel that sat on his desk. The peices he painstakingly slaved over every night and every day to put back together.

"You didn't have to do this if you didn't want to." Connie said softly, rubbing his back rythmically in effort to garner some reaction.

"Its fine, Dad said it would help." He replied with a smile, though Connie knew it was fake.

"Steven, Yellow and I can-"

"No, no..I don't need a new Spinel, thanks Blue." Steven interjected, knowing exactly what she was about to offer. He didn't want a new Spinel, he was his Spinel, he wanted her back.
He smiled, walking backward until is heels met the bottom steps of his home, and snuck off to his room to check on his small work in progress.

She was nearly complete, only a few more shards and she would be whole.
And then maybe she would come back. Maybe.