Steven Universe fic

pt2 Chater eight: Being

Spinel sat on the lighthouse roof, her leg tucked to her chest while the other one dangled over the edge, she watched as Steven met with his friend, dreading the anticipation of him eventually coming to talk with her. Why couldn't he understand? The thought pervaded her mind.
He didn't get it, she couldn't even truly get it. The feeling of wanting to go away, in a way that didn't make any sense.
Spinel's head perked up as she heard the soft steps of Steven's shoes on the roof. The boy came and planted himself next to her while she stared at the sunset.
They did make eye contact, but Steven began to speak.

"I don't know what you mean, but I know you're scared, and I know you feel alone, and I want to help you." He placed his hand gently over hers, the touch caused Spinel to relax a little at the comforting gesture. She turned to face him, her eyes planted on his hand that held hers, she hesitantly removed it from his touch.

"I can't just forget it.." she muttered, resting her hand on her knee. Steven nodded in reluctant agreement. "But, it hurts so much to remember."

Steven nodded again, unable to find reassuring words for the broken gem.

"I want to be better but-" Spinel's voice cracked, she held her face in her hands, shaking her head in despair, "I can't even do that! I'm trying- I'm trying so hard and- I just want to disappear." She cried, sinking into herself as she spoke.

The gem leaned back, resting herself on the ground, staring up at the sky.

"I'm broken." Her voice was deceptively calm as she spoke, her eyes drifting toward Steven as he watched her. "Everything hurts, so much..and I don't want to be here anymore."

Steven finally, truly understood what his friend meant. He leaned back and laid next to her, reaching for her hand once more.

"I want you here." He said softly, unsure if he used the right words, Spinel drew in a bragged breath in response. "You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to be here."

He turned to face the depressed gem, "And it's hard. But you are strong," he paused, gazing into Spinel's tear ridden eyes.

"You are a crystal gem." he sat up, holding his friend's hand and singing the familiar tune.

"I'm here to save the day," Spinel reluctantly sat up, as Steven began to stand. She looked at him slowly, hope building inside her.

"And if you think I can't, there'll always be a way." Spinel stood, and faced Steven as he stopped his song.

"Spinel, it's going to be okay. You can heal, I can help you." He cupped her hands in his and held them to his chest as he spoke, a genuine smile on his face. Spinel looked down at her feet, slowly raising her eyes to meet his.

"Okay."