Steven Universe fic

Part 12 Chapter Four: Be Braver

Steven, Connie and the gems trudged onto the sands of Beach city, utterly soaked from their escape from White's palace.
The silence of the group was deafening and Steven nervously fiddled with Spinel's gem in his pocket as they made their way to their home at the temple.
Connie stopped in shock at the sight.

"What happened to your house?!" She cried, causing Steven to be pulled from his worried thoughts. He followed her gaze to the still wrecked home, though Bismuth had begun work to rebuild it while they were gone, it didn't seem like she got very far.

"Oh yeah..." he mumbled, turning back to the gems, Amethyst let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Now what?!" She exclaimed, stomping and kicking sand in the air. Steven rubbed his head, trying to come up with a solution. It would take a while to fix the gem's rooms, and the hole in the temple. He couldn't stay with Connie anymore, her mother designated him too old to spend the night.

"Maybe Peridot and Lapis will let us stay with them?" He offered, hoping the gems would be hospitable.

"Yeah, I guess you can stay but we don't have anything for humans, like food, running water, beds, stuff like that." Peridot listed off the things she deemed unnecessary. "We do have the box set of Camp Pining Hearts! We can marathon!"

Steven sighed, reluctant to marathon Peridot's favorite show for the fortieth time.

"You sure you don't want me to ask my mom if you can stay?" Connie asked, nudging Steven in the arm. The boy turned to her, looking worse for the wear and only really wanting to sleep.

"Yeah...maybe if we explained.." Connie grinned, immediately marching outside to call her mother, Steven followed, listening to her half of the conversation.

"I promise nothing will happen, he just needs a place to stay for the night, and we can- yeah it was gem stuff, yeah- they wrecked his house." Connie turned toward Steven, her face crinkled as she listened to her mother on the other end.

"Really?" She grinned, giving Steven a thumbs up. "Okay, I promise, we'll be there in a bit." The girl hung up her phone and smiled, providing Steven all the affirmation he needed at the moment.
She grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the gems excitedly.

"Garnet, I'm staying at Connie's tonight!" He yelled back, Garnet nodded.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." She called back as Connie hopped on Lion and pulled Steven on. The beast yawned, and began running toward the Maheshwaran's.

Connie opened the door to her home, beckoning in her friend and letting him sit on the couch.
Steven sat down, something poked his thigh as he sat and he pulled the thing from his pocket.
Spinel's gem.
His smile faded as he held the pink gem. Previously it had been devoid of all color, controlled by White Diamond.
He set the gem down on the coffee table and waited for Connie to put up her sword and things. She returned with a cup of warm tea and set it down next to the gem, her smile seemed to drop as her eyes drifted toward it.

The girl sat down next to Steven and let out a heavy sigh, leaning back on the couch. Steven hunched forward, gently rubbing the pink gem on the table before grabbing his tea and sitting back with Connie.

"She'll be alright." Connie said softly, tussling Steven's hair. He sighed, and nodded.

"I know, I just..feel bad." He trailed off, the last of his words quieter than the first. Connie nodded, taking a sip of her tea. She had watched the whole thing unfold in front of her, Steven fusing with Spinel, Pink Zirconia freaking out.
The way they had just froze in the face of White, she hadn't seen anyone look so terrified before.

She hesitated, not sure if she should utter her next thoughts.

"What was it like?"

Steven glanced at her, before his eyes fell to the floor. He knew she wanted to know, but he didn't know if it was his place to say.

"Terrified." He answered, hoping the word would suffice, Connie leaned closer, waiting for him to elaborate. He sighed, taking a drink from his tea.

"Every thought was full of guilt and fear. Even when we were happy, the back of our mind was this dark and scary place where all our thoughts went wild. I thought we had it under control but when-" he stopped himself, unwilling to recount the repeated actions of White.

"I've never been so scared in my life."

He shuddered at the memory. Spinel was his friend and he was prepared to help her with her fears, but when faced directly with them, when feeling them himself..he couldn't. And she got poofed because of it. She could have been shattered.

"She protected you though," Connie replied, leaning onto him. Steven leaned back, resting on the couch and holding Connie close to him. Her comfort made his worries lessen, like they always had- but she couldn't make them disappear.

"Yeah...she did."

Steven stared at the pink heart on the table, Spinel had protected him. She reformed and stopped the Quartzes from hurting his friends, but White used that against her.
If he had been braver, if he were stronger. Not so paralyzed by the fear of losing his powers of White taking his gem again, he could have stopped her.
He could have shielded her from White's beam.
Spinel was the only one that fought back. Even when White was in control she was fighting back.
And she was terrified. The whole time.

White was right.
He failed.