Steven Universe fic

pt5 Chapter Three: Like Mother and Son

Steven rolled over in his bed, thumbing Pearl's communicator, hoping it would turn on. He had been trying to reach Pink Pearl for days, but couldn't even get a reply.
In the meantime, he had contacted at least seven different Pearl's by accident, who didn't have any helpful information on the whereabouts of his ally.

"Come on, Pink." He muttered earnestly. He had put all his effort into contacting her, it kept him occupied so his thoughts would drift towards Spinel's betrayal.
It didn't really work. Every time he thought of the gem, he began to fume. It was to the point that the other crystal gems didn't really want to be around him.
Amethyst took it the worst, completely avoiding him for days, she still hasn't completely come around, only giving a few words here and there, but not even greeting him when he came near her.

Steven sighed, sitting up on his bed and setting down the communicator.

"Guess no one wants to be around me." He muttered rubbing his temples with his fingers. The boy slid off his bed and headed downstairs, his presence alerted Pearl who stood nearby, whispering to Amethyst. The two glanced at him, before shutting up and refusing to make eye contact with him.

"I know you're mad at me, I've been trying to contact Pink Pearl." He mumbled, disgruntled by their suspicious behavior.

"It's not that, Steven-" Pearl began, before Amethyst finally burst.

"Dude, you're being a jerk!" She exclaimed, stepping in front of him as if to square up. Steven stared at the short gem in shock before a frown fell on his angered face.

"I didn't betray us!" He barked, raising his voice in intimidation. Amethyst glared at him, taking another step closer, pushing him toward the door.

"Ever since you decided to grow up, you've gotten meaner, and not in the cool way! You keep jumping to conclusions and complaining when things don't go your way, did you ever think that Aquamarine planned this?!" The gem screamed, finally backing her friend into the wall.
Steven grit his teeth in rage.

"Then why did she go with them?! If she wasn't on our side, why did she leave?!" He screamed back, his voice cracking.

"Because you told her to go!" Amethyst grabbed the boy by the shirt, pressing him back into the wall. "You told her to leave, you didn't even hear her out, can you stop being so selfish!?" She dropped him, whipping around to not face him.

"What if you told me you hated me because I was made in the kindergarten? Because I was a byproduct of gems like Aquamarine? She did bad things, yeah, but she got better." Amethyst paused, "and she trusted you."

"Why can't you do that for her?!" She spun around, the anger in her voice shocking Steven as the gem glared at him.

He couldn't find the words to answer her, he didn't understand what she was asking, why she was so upset at him. All he could do was watch her slowly relax, letting out a discontented sigh, and walk away.

Pearl stood appalled at the argument that had suddenly taken place, but didn't mention anything of note to Steven, she simply nervously began washing dishes.

Steven lowered his head, still unable to wrap his mind around Amethyst's outburst, he didn't think she had cared so much, but she didn't know Spinel, she didn't see the message, she didn't know the story.
His thoughts turned to the message Aquamarine had sent, and the day Spinel left with her. What Amethyst had said, Steven had been so astonished by the discovery that, in his rage, he told the gem to leave.
He didn't even let her explain herself.
He fell right into Aquamarine's trap.

Steven glanced at Pearl who quickly averted her eyes, he approached the gem, looking worn and embarrassed.

"Amethyst is right…" he muttered apologetically, causing Pearl to turn around.

"Oh thank goodness!" She sighed, suddenly looking far more relaxed than before, her demeanor shocked Steven, but he continued, feeling even more ashamed of himself.

"I didn't even let Spinel explain herself, I was so..angry, I just believed Aquamarine," he grabbed his head, knocking himself on the skull in self discipline. "I don't even know why! I don't know what's wrong with me!"

Steven threw his hands up in frustration, sitting down on the couch, Pearl followed him quietly, and sat down next to him, resting her hand on his.

"I'm just so-so mixed up! I'm angry, and then I'm sad, and I'm tired of all of this." He sighed. Pearl looked at him endearingly.

"We want you to be happy, Steven, and we want you to be good, and wonderful, and you." She paused, averting her eyes for a moment before glancing back at him. "We've never seen you like this...and you've never been like this, so we didn't know how to help you." She finished, hesitant to see his reaction.

Steven slumped into the couch, letting himself sink further as his thoughts turned dark.

"I just...don't know what to do," the boy replied, gripping the couch tightly as he admitted his failure. "This is my fault, all of this, and I'm so scared to fix it. Because I don't know how."

He looked away from his friend, tears beginning to well as he confided in her.

"The Diamonds have plans to hurt gems, and Aquamarine has a whole crew ready to take over homeworld, and I'm just sitting here, afraid to do something, and hurting people I care about, who care about me." He looked up at Pearl who hadn't said anything, her face was filled with concern and understanding.
Steven was so much like Pink Diamond, Rose Quartz, and he had no idea.
Rose was afraid too, despite not seeming so, she was afraid to question the Diamonds, to start a rebellion, she wasn't perfect by far.
She made choices, good and bad, but she always wanted to be better.

"Steven," Pearl's voice wavered as the words caught in her throat. "It's going to be okay, your mother," Pearl glanced at Rose's painting on the wall.

"Your mother felt very similar when she decided to rebel against the Diamonds, she was so scared of what they would do, how they would react." She looked Steven in his eyes, cupping his hands in hers, "but she did what she thought was right, and she saved the earth."

Steven looked away from the gem as she reminisced for a moment, he didn't want to be like his mother, she hurt so many people, she left them behind, and left her problems for him to solve.

"I don't want to be like mom." He muttered, Pearl released his hands in confusion.

"What do you mean?" She questioned.

"Mom hurt a lot of people, I know she didn't mean to, but she left...everything for me to deal with." He paused, growing quiet. "I don't want to do that."

Pearl looked away from the boy, in her heart, she knew he was right, she sighed and turned back, giving him a comforting smile.

"Then don't be, be you."