Steven Universe fic

pt6 Chapter Four: Not Catharsis, but Close

Steven woke himself up, he was halfway out of his bed, sinking toward the ground. The boy scrambled to his feet, trying to find balance in the awkward position.
He had stayed up all night talking with Connie, and watching the communicator for any sign of Pink Pearl. He had no luck with trying to reach her, and she hadn't even attempted to reach him, as far as he knew.
Steven stood up, glancing out the window as the sun shined through, then made his way downstairs. He heard crunching noises and half expected Spinel to be sitting at the counter shoveling cereal into her face enthusiastically.

Amethyst sat on the couch eating straight out of the box, the sight made his heart fall. Steven wasn't expecting to miss his pink companion as much as he did, but she had assimilated so well into his life and his home that it felt slightly emptier without her stretching around the place.

He wasn't mad at her, initially he didn't even know why he was angry with her. He had talked with Connie about it, and came to the conclusion that he was blaming her for Aquamarine's nasty trick. Deep down, he knew that wasn't the case.

"Hey, Steven, got any plans?" Amethyst partially interrupted his thoughts, but he only glanced at her.

"I'm going to go in Spinel- I mean mom's room." he mumbled, passing the gem by and opening the door to the infinity room.
Amethyst hopped off the couch to follow him, but the door closed before she could reach. She paused, lowering her gaze and sat back on the couch, unsure if she had gone too far in her explosion at him the other day.

Steven sat down criss cross on the floor, watching the pink clouds slowly drift along the ground. He traced his fingers along the ground, unable to think of what to ask for.

"I wish Spinel came back." He whispered softly.

"Steven?" Her voice was clear as day, causing him to look up, he shook his head in reject at the apparition.

"No, not like that. I...I want her here for real." His voice quieted, he refused to look at the room's rendition of his friend. It wasn't the same, it wasn't really her. She was gone, probably helping Aquamarine do terrible things. She probably hated him now.

"Sometimes, I wish you would give me exactly what I want. I want to talk to my friend." He said softly, the duplicate sat down next to him, staring confusedly at the boy.

"I'm right here, don't you see?" She said, placing a hand on his knee. Steven jerked it away, turning his head so he didn't have to see her.

"No, you're just what I want you to be, not really her, you do this with everyone." The room's Spinel looked down, averting her eyes from him.

"You're right, I'm not real, but I was...here." her words caused Steven to open his eyes, finally looking at the false Spinel, she looked exactly as she always had, happy and sad at the same time. The fake gem turned away from him, beginning to talk to itself.

"I was here and I liked being here, even though I scared myself a lot. I stayed here because I was with you, and it was okay." Steven turned toward the apparition, as realization washed over him.

"You were, this was your room, it knows more about you than even me." He replied, reaching to touch her. Spinel raised her head, looking back at him with a soft smile on her face.

She wasn't real, no, but she was the closest thing to the real Spinel. The room had been the one place she stayed consistently. It knew her fears, her secrets and desires. It knew her personality to a tee.

"What was she like in here?" Steven asked, scooting closer to the apparition. The copy looked forward, resting her chin on her knees.

"Mostly happy, but also scared." The room recalled, Steven sat next to the false gem, resting his hand on hers.

"That's good," he paused, unsure if what he was to say would be cathartic at all. "I'm sorry"

The gem looked at him confusedly, and he averted his eyes.

"I'm sorry for not trusting you, and making you feel unwanted, now you're in space, doing who knows what, with Aquamarine." He caught his breath, thinking of how awful he must have made her feel. "You're probably scared, and angry, and alone...and waiting."

Steven felt tears streak down his cheeks, he wiped them away gently, rubbing his eyes.

"You really are a good friend...you listen to me, and you give good advice, and you're funny. Even when you don't try to be. I wish mom would have taken you with her." He trailed off, thinking about his mother's abandonment. "I wish we could have been friends longer."

The fake gem turned around, tears streaming down her face as she tried to hold a smile. Steven smiled back, wiping his eyes and standing up.

"That made me feel better." He murmured, looking toward the exit.

It wasn't as good as it would feel to actually talk to Spinel again, but it was enough, for now.

Steven stepped out of the infinity room, Amethyst patiently sat on the couch, somewhat unsure at what to say, but he came near and sat next to her.

"What were you doing in there?" She questioned, watching as he stared off, sniffling a little.

"Saying sorry."

Amethyst nodded, leaning back on the couch and resting her head in her arms. Steven leaned forward, still not looking at her.

"I miss her." He said softly, wiping a couple tears from his eyes. Amethyst sat up and punched him softly in the shoulder.

"So, bring her back?"

Steven nodded, turning to face his friend.

"I will."