Shawn Mendes Imagines

112 - Not Mine (part 2)

"Y/n, wait!" Shawn yelled, panting as he eventually made his way in front of me.

"Shawn." I nodded in acknowledgement. "What's up?"

"What did you mean in that article?"

I am not exaggerating when I say that my entire body went cold. If it weren't for the makeup I was wearing, I'm pretty sure I just turned as pale as a dead body. I swallowed heavily and took a deep breath before doing the best I could do to play dumb.

"Huh?"

"Don't play dumb with me. Please, explain."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Shawn."

"Then let me read what you wrote to you."

He grabbed the rolled up newsletter from the pocket of his backpack and opened it to the page of the article. He cleared his throat and shakily ran his hand through his soft, brown hair before speaking.

"Falling in love is not easy especially when you are afraid to take risks. After all, once you admit, you would never know how it would end up. You may either lose such an amazing friendship or maybe he would be yours. I personally want to get everything off my chest but I do not want to change things between us, or make things worse. I mean, what else could happen once you fall for your best friend?

And yes, you read that right. Just like in every movie, every story with a boy-girl friendship, it has happened. Cliche, I know but can you really help who you fall for? Such a pathetic excuse for a series of chemical reactions in your brain that affects your entire body however, if you experienced how he treats his girl best friend, who wouldn't fall for him?

He's the type to carry your bag once you're together, never really caring what it makes him look like or even how much you protest. He will get it from you as soon as you step out of the classroom and would not give it back unless you will both split ways. He's also the one that checks up on you no matter how busy he is. He will randomly hit you up just to see if you're doing well, sometimes even appear at your door at thee in the morning just to talk. He would even ask you if you have eaten or if you took your medicine and take care of you when you're sick as hell.

Other than that, he would be the one to make sure you are safe. He is always hesitant to leave you at the mall when you are hanging out in case something goes bad happens when he's in the bathroom or buying food. He always makes sure to bring you to your doorstep and sometimes, he would hold your hand when crossing the street.

The list honestly goes on. He's basically the definition of an ideal man. However, he's not mine and will never be mine. Why? Well, just like in those cliche stories, I'm just his best friend. Nothing will change. Even if there is slight possibility that he may feel the same, there is still the biggest wall between us. He has a girlfriend.

I'm his best friend, I should be happy for the fact that he found someone like her in his life, someone to make him happy, to be there for him, to share his future with. Some would say that I could still do that for him, even as just his best friend but at times, it feels as if I have been replaced and forgotten.

Nowadays, he would drop everything for her like he used to do for his best friend. We could be in the middle of a good, deep conversation but once she calls, he's out the door. He would occasionally promise me that he will make up for it but he never does because the next time we're together, he will do it all over again. He does everything we used to do to her and has completely left me in the shadows of their relationship and only comes to me when he needs something or when they have a huge disagreement.

Can I blame him? She's his priority now. She's the one who completes him. I was so used to having him around, to being the closest he could get to a girlfriend to the point that it just hurts seeing him with her or hearing him talk about her. All those years of being his best friend, gone within a year or so of them dating. I should be happy for him. I mean, he's still my friend. Just my friend. He's not mine and he never will be. But does that stop me from always being there for him and for loving him at his lowest? Definitely not."