The Opposite Of Good

[75] Un-lost Cause

"Sorry I don't know why I asked because you told me bef-"

"It's fine, Am." He calls me by the nickname my friends call me. It sounds plain strange coming from him because he never ever calls me that. He calls me cakes, baby, love, or even my full name sometimes, he never once settled for what everyone else calls me, even when we first met.

"Don't call me that." I frown but he ignores it. I feel my heart about to shatter once again as I take in his nonchalant behaviour.

"I have to leave now. I'll ring a cab once I'm outside." He tells me and goes for the door. I'm about to call him for I don't know what reason but he's already disappeared down the corridor before the words can come out of my parted lips.

I stare at the blank wall for at least another hour, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time, until my eyelids start getting heavy.

***

[Justin's P.O.V]

I hate coming back here only to painfully realize that I'm about to spend yet another night in this fucking apartment, alone.

I check the fridge first for something I can feed my rumbling stomach. The fridge is almost empty and the only contents that occupy the space are empty packets of shit. I curse as I shut the door, using more force than necessary. I'm well aware that it's two in the fucking morning but I'm hungry as a motherfucker and looks like I'm gonna have to go out now for something to eat.

I almost put a fist through the wall when I realize that I don't have my car with me...and even if I did, I'm still too intoxicated to drive or to actually focus on anything constructive.

As if I need another reason to get even more pissed, Amara is coming back tomorrow and this place looks like shit. Dishes fill the sink, the floor is dirty, there are still empty beer bottles in the damn living room that fucking Levi left the other night... Couldn't he just toss the shit in the bin or something?

Amara is coming back tomorrow and I can't have this place looking like this. I'm under no ability to clean the mess myself so I find myself ringing Levi.

He answers after I've waited long enough. "Justin, what the? Why you calling me, it's like two in the-"

"I know what the fucking time is thank you."   

"Okay then is everything alright?" His sleepy ass voice asks and I hear some shuffling.

"Yeah I just need you to come clean up my apartment before Amara arrives tomorrow. She'll be mortified to find this place looking like this." My eyes rake over the place again with a disgusted look.

"What the...are you fucking serious? You're actually calling me at two in the fucking morning to tell me about cleaning your apartment?" He gives me a disbelieving tone. "You are obviously still drunk."

"You left your beer bottles on the floor of my fucking living room." I remind him. One of us have to clean up the mess and I don't think I'll be the one to do it.

"Listen I'm hanging up, I gotta get back to sleep, you should probably do the same and stop worrying about a dirty apartment at two in the fucking morning, geez man." He hangs up before I can think of a come back and I groan.

I place the half full glass of water I've been drinking on the kitchen counter and walk up the stairs. As always, I don't get into my room but get into Amara's room and close the door behind me . The bed is unmade from the last time I slept in here but I feel my body getting heavier and heavier. I throw my body on it and I pass out once my head hits the soft pillow that smells just like the girl that stole my heart and hopefully never intends on giving it back.