The Opposite Of Good

[28] UG

[Justin's P.O.V]

Lunch break was just less than thirty minutes away and I just couldn't wait. It was currently Maths class and I just wanted to get out of here already.

I've always felt like Maths or the idea of school as a whole wasn't for me. People make a mistake by putting 'school' as a factor of life. Like school is in the middle and human life surrounds it.

Nobody is forced to attend school and that doesn't mean that you will not succeed in future life if you don't go to school. Not every person wants to take that path in their life and I am one of them. I've actually tried dropping out when I was in my sophomore year but my adoptive parents convinced me to at least finish high school and basically that's why I'm still seated here.

Speaking of my adoptive parents, I am actually planning on visiting them this afternoon after school. I feel guilty because I have not seen them in... in about a month. I haven't gone to see them since Amara has been living with me.

I shiver at the thought of Amara...

She really is changing me, but that is something I can never confess to anyone, not even my best friend, Levi or my brother, Nick.

I've basically built these metallic walls around my heart after a horrific heartbreak I went through a while ago. I don't like to think about it nor do I like to talk about it because memories come back to me, sad ones, memories that take me back to a place of agonizing heart pain. I hate that place, the place of darkness and misery, where you literally can't do anything but weep!

I built walls around my heart and cursed love, proclaiming it forbidden in my world. I hate love, that feeling is just there to break people. The deeper you're in it, the harder you're going to fall, and it fucking hurts for years until you finally become numb. Only lucky ones can swim in love, the rest of us are just meant to drown in that shit.

More reason to actually convince myself that...that I AM NOT FALLING FOR AMARA.

Because its a curse.

Having her around is just...ugh I don't fucking know why I kissed her this morning! I got lost in the moment, she was so tempting, my heart and my feelings for her were tempting. I don't want to love her, I don't want to fall for her because it will best for her, and for me. I just.. I don't want to hurt her...

...but deep down, I'm the one who fears getting hurt.

***

"Justin my boy, you have no idea how happy I am to see you!" My adoptive mother exclaimed as she just opened the door for me.

She instantly gets out of the way and I get inside, I hug her and she wraps her arms around me as well.

"I'm happy to see you as well mother." I whispered in her ear as I pulled away. She holds my cheek and looks at my face, "I'm glad the bruises you had the last time are gone."

I tense as she mentions the bruises but I manage to relax. "That's why I took time not coming here, I didn't want you and father to see me looking like shit." I say and she gasps as she places her hand on my mouth.

"Language!"

I laugh as I roll my eyes.

That wasn't entirely true, I took time not seeing them because of Amara. I just never wanted to leave her alone, hell I don't wanna leave her alone my whole life!