this // narry au

30. casper, the friendly ghost

of course i update the first day of school

A/N: YOU GUYS HAD ME ON THE FLOOR WITH SOME OF YOUR FIVE FACTS DAMN I ALMOST CRIED AT SOME

i also learned im not the only one with trypophobia i thought i was suffering alone woo

and apparently princess belle doesn't have green eyes idk the last time I watched beauty and the beast was in 2012 and I only went 25 minutes through the movie

I ALSO LEARNED YOU CAN GET HERPES BY GIVING BLOWJOBS I REALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY

30 -

Sure enough, eight minutes later and me, Niall and Zayn are sitting on my carpet in a circle, thinking of questions.

Zayn, being the wonderful person he is, asked for sexual questions only. If me and Niall happen to get into a fight one day and I come home to Zayn sucking his dick there's going to be some serious issues.

"I got one." Niall gasps. "What's the weirdest thing somebody has asked you to do to turn them on?"

"I was told to call them daddy all day." I raise my eyebrow at Niall and a loopy grin comes across his face. "That was me." He grins proudly.

"One time my bisexual friend asked me if I could join her and her girlfriend for sex."

"I didn't know about that?" I furrow my eyebrows. "Bisexual...Jennifer? The one dating Annie?"

"I swore not to tell." Zayn laughs. "Yeah, her,"

"Did you do it?" Niall asks.

Zayn hesitates for a moment. "I was having a stressful day..." He trails off and I laugh.

"Weirdest thing you find attractive?" I ask.

"Breasts are...great. Big boobs, small boobs, I'm a lover of all." Zayn sighs dreamily, "But like, so are dicks, ya know? And I get both." He beams proudly. "Only big dicks matter though." He adds.

"Zayn, you are the greediest bisexual I know." I say.

Zayn smirks, "Say it loud, say it proud."

"What is attractive about boobs at all, honestly though?" Niall asks. "I never got it. They're like, fat on a girls chest that have fashionable little cups for themselves."

"Did you think like that when you were straight?" I question.

Niall pulls an unimpressed face my way. "No comment, Harry Styles."

"The scene kid has a point." Zayn considers.

"I'm not scene!" Niall gasps.

"Don't scene people have colourful hair and are pale and get weird hippe tattoos?"

"How do you know I have tattoos?" Niall asks, because he's wearing a jumper.

"Oh when Harry got back from that store he did like a full-on CIA background search on you--"

"Z," I interrupt, but the smile is so wide on Niall's face that I know the cockiness is inevitable.

"You searched me up? You really do care about me," Niall beams, tilting his head at me and grinning.

"Of course I care about you, shut up." I hit him in the shoulder.

"That's cute." Zayn remarks. "Now, Niall, answer the question."

"Weirdest thing I find attractive?" Niall leans in towards my ear and whispers, "Bondage and brunettes."

My mouth falls slightly ajar, then Zayn has to go and say: "What did you say to poor Harry? He's so pale he might as well be Casper."

"We can try it later in you want too." Niall smirks out, pulling away.

"Next!" I exhale.

"Can I see Niall's dick?" Zayn asks.

"There needs to be a womanizer word for men because that's what you are." I retort.

"Maybe later," Niall cackles. "I'm feeling a bit adventurous and Harry'll be...too tied up to do anything."

"Did you just make a bondage pun?" I whisper.

"Hell yeah, and it was hilarious."

"You coming over has backfired on me, Zayn." I announce.

He grins confidently, "I know. Isn't it great?"

"Weird kinks." Niall leans back.

"I don't have any," I bite my lip and Niall shakes his head. "You must answer all questions."

He then leans to me so he's out of Zayn's earshot, "Y'know, for later."

I furrow my eyebrows to think, "Foreplay; it's not really a kink but I enjoy it a bit too much." I strangle out really quickly, "Z?"

"Red." Zayn hums. "Red looks good on anybody. I love people wearing red."

Niall can't really judge me now, I mean Zayn's kink is a colour.

"How often do you have sex?" I tease.

Zayn goes red all over. "Twenty...this month."

"Twenty a month!" Niall shrieks.

"I'm getting over a break up," Zayn pouts. "And besides, go big or go home. What about you, Mr. Perfect?"

"I have sex with people I like." Niall replies with a small half-shrug.

He said he liked me.

I block out that thought instantly the second I think it. Niall isn't going to have sex with me.

(That stupid, purple-haired idiot has taken over my thoughts, damn him.)

"I thought people who travelled were sluts though?" Zayn questions. "Like, they fuck everything and everybody because they don't come to the same place twice."

"Nah-- Well maybe."

"Maybe?" I retort.

"Back when I was straight." Niall continues and I realize he's just teasing me to see my reaction. When he notices I'm pulling a very unimpressed face, he speaks up again.

"Of course not, I don't just use people and throw them around like that. The hell," Niall rolls his eyes.

A small smile creeps to my lips from how genuine Niall was. Sometimes I forget he's going to leave.

And then it hits me; Niall is going to leave.

It shouldn't've hit me as hard as it did in that moment, but it did.

Niall Horan, is going to leave.

• • •

A/N: hi okay so quick irrelevant rant: SO I WENT TO SCHOOL TODAY and it was actually cool my classmates are chill and hot guys in my class im ballin and I have an awesome ass schedule all was good, unTIL I went into my very first class of the year (math, of course. it couldnt be foods) and my fuckin math teacher gave us some booklet homework and I have a test next week what is this fuckery

IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL WHY IN THE BLUE HELL DID YOU GIVE ME A 16 PAGED, DOUBLE SIDED DIVISION BOOKLET I FUCKING SUCK ASS AT DIVISION I DONT KNOW PAST 6 DAMMIT IM NOT SMART (the reason we had to get division sheets is because when i was in grade 3 they only taught us up to 7x7 and aPPARENTLY BY LAW you're supposed to know up to 12x12 and it's now affecting everybody's marks all these years later why are you attacking me attack my grade 3 teacher)

and that's why I'm updating, because some teachers suck ass while some teachers are bomb ass ballers hEYYY

QUESTION: if you met one direction what would you say? AND who would you be most scared to meet? (like my fave is Harry but I wouldn't even approach Zouis they scare me sometimes)

i was going through some of my old carrot one direction stuff and on a page it said: "if harry is gay go to niall" even carrot me knew what was up ayy

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