this // narry au

112. should i stay or should i go?

A/N: UMMMM GUESS WHOS BACK LMAOOOOO SARAH DONT KILL ME IM SORRY AND EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE EXPLAINED AFTER I UPLOAD THIS OKAY

ITS TRASH AND GARBAGE BUT I DIDNT WANT TO HOLD OUT ON YA'LL ANY LONGER

PLSSSSSS DONT HATE ME

112 - Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

"You love me?" He lets out a short non-humorous laugh.

"Of course..." I say softer, sliding my hands away from his face.

"Oh my God." He murmurs, "It's worse. It's even worse."

"What's worse?"

"You don't-- You don't mean it!" He shouts at me, which takes me aback.

"I don't mean what?" I know what he means, but I need him to clarify.

"You don't mean it when you say I love you!"

I gape at him in shock, "And who are you to judge what I do and don't mean?!"

"We were together for how long, Harry? I know when you lie."

"What do you mean?!" I'm shaking in anger.

"I mean I know your quirks and tricks." His voice lowers, "I know when you're telling the truth and when you're lying."

I'm hurt as my voice gets timider, "I do love you."

He stares at me hard, "Then why don't I feel it?"

"Feel what?"

"Feel the way I used to when you'd say that to me." He sounds softer, "Feel all the butterflies and my heart breaking my chest.."

"It's because we're ending either way."

"I feel worse." He mumbles.

"...yeah."

"I thought--" He pulls hard at his hair, "I thought I was going to feel better but I feel like shit."

I stay silent.

"I thought hearing you say you love me would lift this unbearable weight off of my shoulders but now... I just really want to put a gun in my mouth." He whispers.

"I don't--"

"I'd rather you break up with me because you hate me then because you love me!" He exclaims, "If you hate me, that's a solid reason because I'm a fuck up. I fuck everything up, everybody hates me at the end. But you breaking up with me because you love me? Because you care about me because--" He cuts himself off as he sits down.

"I told you that me telling you wouldn't make you feel better..."

"It was worth a try!" He snaps back, "I'm desperate-- you're leaving me and you aren't changing your mind and I need you to make me feel better."

"Ni--"

"You're the only one who can make me feel better, Harry!" He shouts, "You, you, you-- it's always going back to you. You're the only one I trust, the only one that knows me, the only person I've loved like this, the only person who can make me feel better!" He takes a breath, "It's always gonna be you!"

"I don't want it to be me!" I shout back, "I don't want to be the only person you care about, the only person that can make you feel okay!"

"Me neither! I wish you were one of the others, the ones I didn't care about! I'd rather Bella right now! Leanne or Drew or-- any of them!" He screams, "Because you're just so fucking stubborn and I can't take it! I wish every day that I didn't feel the way I do about you!"