Behind the Walls. NOVEL By Claire Darcy.

23. You'll Never Understand It. Part One.

Rowan paced back and forth in his room, running his hands through his hair more times than was necessary.

He didn't want this. He didn't plan for this.

Already he'd missed two classes that afternoon. One more began in ten or so minutes, and then it was dinnertime in the cafeteria. He was contemplating whether to head out or not, and wondering if Ace had left her room. He was too used to always knowing where she was. He told himself it was his mission that had caused the change; caused him to tune into her voice in a group discussion, to seek her out in a crowd, to glance out of the corner of his eye to check on her.  It did not feel good for that to all be turned on it's head. It did not feel good to have her on his mind when she was out of reach.

When someone knocked on the door, he leapt eagerly forward, pulling it open with such hurry that he almost tripped himself. He was surprised to see the blonde-haired twin on the other side.

"Frankie? What are you doing here?"

Frankie smiled sweetly and rubbed Rowan's arm. "I came to see you. We all heard what happened, and I just thought it must be pretty hard on you," she said, her blue eyes staring into his. Rowan looked down, stepping away from her touch.

"Thanks, Frankie. But... don't worry about it. I'm fine... just worried about Ace, that's all."

Frankie scoffed and pushed her way inside, closing the door behind her.

"That girl has enough people fussing over her. After she missed the last two classes, Josh insisted we all go and see her. Really, it's you I'm concerned about. I'm sure she treated you horribly after you told her."

Rowan sighed and sat on his bed, his elbows on his knees as he rubbed his face. He rested his chin in his hands before he looked up at Frankie.

"Well, she was mad... but that's understandable."

Frankie shook her head, giving a little "tut-tut-tut," before she reached out and placed a hand against Rowan's cheek, turning his face up until his dark eyes met her blue ones.

"Rowan, it's so good of you to try and justify her, but really. The girl does all this for attention, isn't that much clear. She's the one in the wrong, here."

Rowan gently pushed Frankie's hand away. He didn't want her affection, but he didn't want to be rough, either. "Thanks, Frankie. But I don't really want to talk about it. You'll never understand it, anyway," he said, glancing at the door. Frankie didn't get the hint. Instead, she sat down next to Rowan, closer than he'd hoped, and placed her hand on his leg.

"We don't have to talk," Frankie whispered, looking into his eyes.

Rowan looked back at her, his features sad. Frankie wanted to get rid of his pain. And she knew just how she'd do it. She'd wanted to for so long. With the hand that wasn't on his leg, she reached up and gently touched his cheek. The first hand traced further up his leg, as she pulled closer, not letting her eyes flicker from his features. She was so close now. She'd been waiting for this moment ever since she'd seen him. Ever since she'd looked into his glimmering, brown eyes.

"I can't."

Frankie froze at Rowan's words. Had he really just stopped everything? Rowan stood suddenly up, pulling away and looking out the window. "I'm sorry, Frankie, I just can't." Rowan said quietly, "I'm just not interested."

Frankie was in shock. She stood to her feet, trying to grasp what had just happened.

"Well, surely you are a little interested..." Frankie pushed.

Rowan ran his hand through his hair again, something he'd taken to doing more and more frequently. He stumbled over his words. "No, Frankie... I won't kiss you... It's not you I.... Look, you're not the one I... I just don't feel like I... I'm in... It's just, I can't. Okay? I can't."