New perspective (#1)

Chapter 45

Ryan's POV
What did he do? What did he do? What did he do?

Did Brendon kiss everyone but me or slap everyone when we first played truth or dare? What the fuck did he do?!

"What did he do?!" I screamed, pulling on my hair as much as I could until it felt like the roots were being pulled out. Even then I didn't stop. It was morning judging by the dim sunlight. Day two without Brendon. I was still wearing his hoodie which is probably why my cover is on the floor by the edge of my bed. I must've kicked it off. I barely got any sleep last night though. I fell asleep an hour ago and that's about it. But now I'm awake. Gosh, I'm so fucking awake in this bed that now feels like cold yet burning rocks.

And I can't remember what he did. I need to remember. I need to know.

"What the fucking fuck did he do?!" I cried out desperately and loudly. I need to know because I need to know if he felt the same already then. But fuck, I- I can't remember.

"Ryan, calm down!" A hysterical Spencer rushed over to my bed. That's when I screamed out loud, now banging my head onto the wall which I had pressed myself against last night just to feel like someone was there. Just to feel like I wasn't alone and that I was safe. And now my safety is hurting me.

"Wha..what di- did he do, Spence?" I choked out between sobs as he pulled me away from the wall and held me closely. My chin rested on his shoulder and my breaths evened out. My head was pounding and aching but it wasn't bleeding. Not yet, at least.

"What did who do?" Spencer whispered. He was still hysterical, obviously worried, but he tried to sound as calmed and gathered as possible. Probably to calm me down. And I hate to say it but it's working.

"Brendon. Did he... did he kiss everyone but me or slap everyone?" I managed, trying to catch my breath. Spencer was sitting on my bed now with my head in his lap. He stroked my hair soothingly and watched me like he was my mother and I was his son who just hurt his knee.

"You mean when we played truth or dare?" Spencer asked after a moment of silence. I nodded and stared right into his eyes. I swallowed dryly, waiting impatiently. My heart beats were speeding up. I need to know.

"He kissed everyone but you." He held his breath. I exhaled loudly in relief. He felt the same already then. I was special to him since day one. So was he to me.

"Thank you." I whispered, feeling my heart rate slow down.

Spencer didn't ask why that was so important to know, he didn't ask anything which I'm grateful for. Questions are the last things I need right now. He knows me well enough to know that.

All he did was hold me. I shut my eyes slowly, feeling the waves of tiredness caving in.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled hazily.

"Shh, it's okay. Get some rest. It's all gonna be okay." Spencer whispered as he kept stroking my greasy hair and occasionally moving his hand to stroke my cheek. "You're okay, you're okay." He repeated quietly and I felt him kissing my forehead gently, barely noticeably.

That's the last thing I remember before drifting away to my fantasy that you can only visit when parts of your brain temporarily shut down.

-

"Should we wake him up?" A distant voice said.

"No, I don't think that'd be such a good idea." Another distant voice said.

"I'm worried about him." A third voice.

I slowly opened my eyes, immediately being blinded by a strong light. The sun. I groaned and the voices stopped.