New perspective (#1)

Chapter 42

Brendon's POV
I watched the sunrise. I'd say it was beautiful, but once you see the most beautiful thing this is nothing in comparision.

"You can't keep doing this. We might have to send you away for real." My dad sighed as he drove in the dark. He'd been driving for about 30 minutes now. It'd take 30 more minutes before we arrived home. I missed my bed.

What?! I need something to look forward to.

And honestly, I wouldn't mind if they sent me away for real.

I sat on the car's black seat in the back. Not because I'm not allowed to sit in the front, I just wanted to sit as far away from my dad as possible. I bet that jerk wants the same thing anyway.

I didn't bother buckling myself since I stopped caring. My dad either didn't care either or he just didn't notice. So I sat in a, well I wouldn't call it comfortable, but semi comfortable position with my feet on the seat as well as the rest of my body.

"Are you even listening to me?!" My dad was obviously furious. I would be too. I'm surprised they didn't send me away already.

"Of course." I lied. He'd been rambling for ages now. All I could think about was that one mysterious yet beautiful thing. Ryan.

I grabbed my white earphones and my phone from my pocket. Basically the only things I managed to bring with me except for my clothes and Ryan's shirt... which belongs to me now. I'm not giving it back.

"Brendon, you're a fucking disappointment and I'm not gonna apologize for saying that because it's the truth. You need to get your shit together you fucking faggot. What you're doing is wrong..." My dad babbled. Yeah, whatever. "...and I just can't handle it anymore..."

I plugged the earphones in and blasted 'All the small things' by Blink- 182. My dad's talking, also known as annoying buzzing, disappeared along with all the other noises except for the music. Damn, I love these earphones. I owe them for everytime they've shut reality out.

And every kind of earphones usually just fall out my ears before I even put on the music, but not this pair. It saves some time for me to not be annoyed.

Fucking hell. Ryan. It's crazy how much being apart from him makes me suffer. My dad said he can't handle it anymore. Maybe I'm the one who can't handle it anymore instead. I need Ryan in my life.

It feels like someone cut open my chest, grabbed my heart and ripped it out, torn it apart and then crushed all the pieces until it became like red juice. Don't forget the part where dogs drink it.

That was unnecessarily specific. But my point is, it's all ruined. I'm ruined.

All I have now is this fucking Green day hoodie and tons of memories. I mean, even if you could erase memories I wouldn't because honestly, I'd get tortured for Ryan. I'd never wanna forget him or what we had no matter what. He made me happy and even if he's not able to do that right now, a small light of hope has been lighted that it'll happen again.

Maybe hope only brings misery, I bet that's what Ryan would say, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

But why?

Cause I fucking love that guy.

Then it hit me, I was gonna try to text him. I hurriedly went to contacts and found his number. I inhaled deeply and hoped for the best.

6:34am
Forehead: Please tell me you can read this. I'm almost certain the jackass took away your phone but if he didn't, I just want you to know that I miss you. I hope you're doing okay. We're gonna make it, okay? Stay safe.

Love, your forehead xx
Your message could not be delivered. Try again.

When I hit send it didn't even deliver. I pressed try again over and over but it was impossible. I had a great signal so it wasn't that. Fuck. I tapped the screen harder and harder until the screen literally cracked a little "Come fucking on" I whispered hopelessly and sighed as a single tear ran down my cheek.

I wonder what he was doing right now. The cafeteria opened at 6:30am so he was either eating or sleeping. Perhaps neither. He didn't like food much and usually had a hard time sleeping. I just hope he's doing alright.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I realised that I'll probably never ever see the love of my life ever again. I thought of it earlier but never thought of the actual meaning of it. I'll never be able to hug him, kiss him, laugh with him, make him smile that pretty smile or hear his heartwarming voice ever again.

I quickly wiped away the tears with my oddly cold hands, not wanting my dad to notice. He wouldn't be much of a good support anyway. Only the opposite.

My lips started shaking as I tried my best to stop crying. My fingers were already wet enough from all the wiping. I just couldn't do this anymore and it'd only been a couple of hours. Imagine how I'm supposed to survive my entire life without Ryan.

After all, it might be very short. Who knows?

I looked out again. There were a lot of trees and the sky was clearing up and getting brighter. It was the opposite of my life. The grass was dark green and a few flowers were making their way up. They were colourful, like purple, blue and yellow. All the colours cut through each other and created this uniqe atmosphere.

The sun blinded me for a second but I didn't mind. What's the point of seeing if you can't see the love of your life?

Gosh, I could really use a hug right now.

-

Oof.

999 WORDS BUT BY TYPING THIS IT'S MORE SMH