Loving You Book 1 (Emmerdale)

Chapter 9❤

(Verity's P.O.V)

Ross snuggled up to me as I started watching the next episode of Grey's Anatomy. "You seem to be obsessed with this show." Ross kissed me as I continued to watch. "It's brilliant that's why." Ross started circling his finger on my growing bump. He'd placed the scan photo on the fridge. "I love our little bean already." He couldn't stop staring at me. "I was talking to Anna last night. She was asking me how things were going." Ross snuggled into me. Trying to distract me.. "She can come and visit babe.' That was nice of him to say that. I heard my phone ring. It was Moira. "Hiya. Are you alright?" She sounded really upset. "I'll be there in a bit.' I ended the call, got up and Ross handed me my coat. "If you need picking up, call me." I kissed him. "I will."

I walked over to Moira's house seeing a older looking woman. She was standing outside Home Farm.. I then saw Dad pop his head out the window. I walked just a bit closer.. She leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. Wow... that felt strange. I made my way to Moira and Cain's placing my hand on my stomach. Knocking on the door.. I could hear loud voices.. 'JUST GO!"

Cain opened the door.. leaving.. I stepped inside. 'I'm not going to ask you the obvious question. That would be so stupid." She put the kettle on.. standing there, wiping her tears away. 'We had a big, massive argument about this secret that he's been keeping." I went over to boil the kettle. "We tell each other everything. Why can't he just tell me what he's hiding?' I shrugged my shoulders... not knowing anything. "I know he's been preoccupied.. but this is different." I took small sips of my drink as Moira asked how I was getting on. "The support group is really nice. It makes me feel like I'm not alone." Moira asked how me and Ross were preparing for our new arrival. "Well.. we need space. We spoke about seeing if we could find a bigger place. "He loves living in the village, with his brothers. He just suggested moving."

Moira then started asking about options for moving. "We could move on the outskirts of the village. But, I would miss Dad too much." She giggled.. asking how it went with him at the hospital. "It went really well. Dad seemed excited." Moira went into her own world. "Hmm?" I reminded her about Dad. "Oh yeah. Glad it went well. I stood up, placed the mug in her sink.. hugging her. "Cain will come back. My advice is to just take time out for yourself. Then.. you'll be ready to talk." Moira said it wasn't that easy..

"He's keeping a secret from me." I remember her telling me this... I couldn't leave her now. I texted Ross..

Hey babe.. something has come up. Are you with Cain by any chance?Xx

Moira just couldn't stop crying.. "I don't even want to talk about it. Are you still alright being here?" I nodded.

"Yes. I can always see Dad later." She wiped her eyes.. looking in the mirror. "I found texts on his phone, money stuffed away.. I've been looking after Issac at night times on my own.." I felt so bad for her. "I know how that feels. You can't be on your own tonight. Come back to ours. I can always text Ross?" She started to get her stuff together. Her phone rang.. looking at it, she stuffed it in her coat pocket. "Faith has Issac. I'll call her when we go to yours." I felt the baby kick. "Our little bug keeps hurting me." She looked so upset.. I helped her with bags and everything.

We got back to ours eventually as Ross texted me back.

Yeah. He's with me.  What's gone wrong? Missing my finger on your stomach. Xxxxx

He's insansely cute! Moira placed her bag on the stairs. She looked so worn out. "You're smiling lots recently." She said that she would make a cup of tea. I finally sat down.. feeling exhasuted. "This little baby is already cute!" Moira started cooing at the scan picture. "I know. I'm not sure what I would like. Dad and Ross metioned a boy." Moira handed me the mug as she sat down next to me. "Whatever you have... It will be healthy and happy." We discussed names, clothes and how we could decorate the spare room. "Well.. maybe we could keep it a surprise." Moira said that I would maybe feel a bit better with my disorder once our little baby arrives.

"Probably. I feel like I'm eating less.. I just don't feel hungry at times. I have been purging a bit more though. It's just really difficult to keep food down." Moira rubbed my shoulder. "How do you feel when you eat?"

I just felt myself stare into space a bit.. feeling our baby move slowly.. inside me. Feeling kicks here, there, every where.. Fat. Slobby.. "Excuse me." I ran upstairs as Moira followed me.. I shut the bathroom door. Just letting the tears flow.. I was terrible. Awful. My baby deserves a daddy. Not a awful person like me. I saw a razor. Moira knocked lightly on the door. "Verity.. just listen to me alright?" I cried as the razor twirled around in my hand... "Maybe.. if I just cut, no one will notice.." Moira knocked on the door. The noise getting louder and louder in my ears.. "Come on sweetheart. Open the door.. please." The razor lightly touched my skin.  I placed it on the floor. Hearing the front door open, 'Ross! She's up here!" I cried even more.

"Baby... baby.." Ross managed to open the bathroom door. Seeing the razor on the floor.. "I can't do this anymore. I can't be strong. You don't need me.." Moira stood there. Seeing how hurt I was. Ross just shushed me.. running his hands through my brown hair. "Listen.. I will help you. I'm here now." He turned to look at Moira. "Thankyou Moira. Cain is downstairs. He said he needs to talk to you." As Ross held on to me, the razor was still in sight. "Pleeease.. just let go!" Ross tried to calm me down.. holding me.

"Hey little one. Mummy is upset right now..." Sniffling.. the marks on his top.  'But Daddy is going to make sure she's better. Just looking at him made me feel sad. I still felt fat. Even with our child growing inside of me. I just can't do this. I can't...