Loving You Book 1 (Emmerdale)

Chapter 3💗

(Ross's P.O.V)
Once the house was empty, I had decided to talk to Verity alone. "Sit." I really loved her. She was the first girl I'd let my guard down with. The first girl I saw a future with. I just couldn't believe that she was here. I sat down next to her. "So, where have you been for the past year V?" I wanted to know everything. "Back home. With Mum and Dad. After we ended, I couldn't stay any more."

Just even looking at her, I still felt love  for her. All I wanted to do was protect her. "I know the way we ended was brutal. I'd not been the best boyfriend. I pushed you away a lot. I admit that. You pushed me away a lot too." That was right. When I discovered that I had an eating disorder, it consumed my life. I felt angry at him. I used to just cry at night. Feeling so, so worked up over every little thing. I still think that I'm not good enough for him. Not that he knew that. You should tell him.

"Verity.." His hand was on mine. My mind shook back into reality. "Just trust me." You can't do this.. don't trust him. He'll mess you up. You just eat. Remember how you are. Eat. Throw up. Eat. His lips just touched mine so easily. My body moved more and more.. His hand was on my leg. My stomach contracted. I felt myself letting him in again. "Just love me.. please.." I heard him.. telling me he loved me as he kissed me. Over and Over..

He held me as we laid together in his bed. Stroking his face, I let him kiss me. "That was very, very unexpected V. We don't usually do this.." Smiling at him, I placed my finger over his lips. "Just enjoy this.. please." We kissed a bit longer as Ross brushed aside the long strands of my blonde hair away from my face. "I remember your chest being this.." He grunted as I kissed his chest slowly... "Sexy you mean?" I laughed as I reached his neck. Kissing it gently. "Yes. It is sexy."

After spending time with one another, I laid down, covering myself up. "How are things then? With you?" He cuddled up to me. "Ok really. Working at the garage. Dad is working at the farm. Everything is alright. Did you want anything to eat? I'm pretty hungry." I slapped him playfully. Seeing him blush! "Oi! I've just hooked up with you. Come on."

I said I would stay upstairs. To be honest, I was really hungry. It was eating away at me. I told myself that I would eat later. He called me downstairs and he had a plate of food in front of him. "Are you sure you don't want any?" I shook my head. "No thanks." I was convinced that I wasn't good looking physically so it would stay that way.

I sat down at the kitchen table. Watching him eat, sipping my tea. He asked me if I'd like some toast. "Go on then. 1 slice please." I bit at the toast, already feeling sickness rise inside of me. Before I knew it, I'd eaten more.. "You must of been hungry babe." Ross cleaned up as I sat there... hearing the voice inside my head. Now, go and throw up. I steadied myself. I felt a bit light headed. I went upstairs, opened the bathroom door.. ran the tap, I kneeled down on my the floor. Just looking inside the toilet. Feeling my stomach churn, I placed my fingers down my throat. Then everything came up. I felt relief. Once I'd cleaned myself up, I looked in the mirror.

I lifted my top up, my stomach looked awful. I was awful. My bones were kinda sticking out. I just didn't want to eat. "Verity!" I put my top down and opened the door. "Yes?" I raced downstairs to see Ross.. standing near the window. "You alright?" I walked towards him. My arms reaching for his torso. My head leaned into his.. "Yeah. I just had to go to the loo. Did you wanna see Moira today?" He kissed my forehead. "Yes."

We went upstairs to get dressed, then we took a walk into the village. "I saw a little girl and a little boy playing on the swings yesterday." Ross saw the smile on my face as we walked towards the farm. "That must of been April and Leo. Rhona's the mum of Leo. He's such a cute kid." We knocked on the front door as we heard a strong, male voice inside. "Coming!" I felt really nervous now. "Hiya Ross. Are you alright?" He motioned me inside. "Yeah thanks. Is Auntie Moira in?" He said yes. "Issac had a bit of a rough night. You can come in, wait for a bit. I held Verity's hand as we sat down. "Everything alright at the garage then?" He agreed. "Yes boss." I laughed a bit. "I've just been dealing with a lot lately so I appreicate the help." We heard a little babble from upstairs. Moira smiled as soon as she saw me. "Oh Verity. It's so lovely to see you!" She hugged me. "You've changed so much."

As the boys caught up, Moira chatted to me. "When did you come back then?" I didn't know what to say. Were me and Ross trying again? I had no idea. "Just last night. I was passing through, but I got caught by Ross." Moira giggled as Issac looked at me. "He's certainly grown. He's so cute!"

I asked Moira if I could hold him. "Of course you can."

She handed him over to me. I just spoke to him. He was ever so quiet, alert and adorable. "How's your mum and dad?" I couldn't answer that question. "Dad is alright. Him and Mum... on the other hand." Moira understood. "It is hard. I pushed Cain away a lot these last couple of months.
"Dealing with Simon, the loss of Holly. I started talking to him again. We promised that we would stay friends." I got what she was saying. "I said the same thing.. but we ended up erm." Moira was shocked!😂 "How do you feel about him?" I blushed, smiled... tried to keep my feelings under the surface. "I just don't know.. we kissed, then I felt so, so confused." Moira giggled saying that was normal. "You're bound to be confused. You was with him for so long." Issac didn't want to go back to his mummy!😩😍 "You can feed him if you like. Let me just go and get his bottle." She went to sort his bottle out and all I could think about was this morning. My body was awful. It felt good to throw up. I was suffering. That was ok. "Here we go." Moira handed me a drink.

Ross eventually came to sit with me. "He seems to like you babe." I kissed him as he continued to gurgle.. starting to smile at me. Ross's hand was on my back. I just couldn't shut off the voices inside my head. Wondering what I was going to eat next. Wondering where I could get laxtives from..

Ross was talking to Moira about doing more work on the farm soon. "Yes. You may need to do some more nights on the farm. Sorting out the stables and cleaning. "Can't Pete help you out?" Him and Pete worked mainly  on the farm as Finn worked at the B+B. "He said he's away with Rhona or something. Not too sure." Ross huffed. "Typical. He needs to step up more." I handed Issac back to his mummy as I stood up. I felt so unwell. "You alright V?" I said I was ok. Ross followed me outside. 'I'll see you later Moira." She stood with Cain near the window as we left. I wanted to just eat.

Ross caught up to me eventually. "V!" He put his hand on my shoulder. "What? I just need to go and get some food. That's all!" He knows something is up. Don't tell him. It's your secret to keep...  I raced inside and opened his fridge. Grabbing a bowl of salad, some crisps, and a bottle of water. Crying as I was eating, I just ate and ate. I saw Ross standing in the hallway.. I felt so fat. Big. "Verity.. come on." He walked towards me and kneeled down.."No! Leave me to eat!" His eyes had a look of sadness in them. "Let me help.." I continued to eat the salad. Feeling really bad for every bite I took. He was still staring at me. "V.. why didn't you tell me?" I already love you to pieces. Why would you want someone damaged? "Because I didn't want to. Is that a problem?" I left the table and went to go and take a walk. "Alone. Please." He looked so defeated. 

I walked over to the park. It was peaceful. I just didn't know how to tell him. It was extremely difficult. He dealt with me before. It was way easier then. Now, I come with a real load of baggage. Who wants that? It started to rain. I watched it fall. I couldn't believe he found out like that. I'm ashamed of myself. Really ashamed.