Another Chance Book I of III

Book II-Chapter 21, Prayers and Decisions

Prince woke up and looked over at Bella. She was sleeping deeply and he smiled as he watched her. Her face was turned toward him and her right hand had found his left as she slept and had curled around his index finger. His heart was so full with love for her...and the most amazing part of it all was that Bella really loved him too. Her gentleness seemed to invade him and when with her and because of her, he felt gentle also. No more raging into the Universe, no more getting back at those that may have disappointed him or hurt him with angry lyrics or angry actions. The only thing that moved him to anger these days were things that made him feel that Bella might be in danger or threatened...and thanks to the Creator and the nature of Paradise there had not been many of those. As he lay there, he wanted to memorize her face, he never wanted to forget how beautiful her almond shaped eyes looked, no matter whether open or closed. Or the dimple in her left cheek and her chin. He never wanted to forget and he needed to remember because he felt in his Spirit that the time was coming when they would begin a new journey, that would separate them for a time then lead them back to each other on the Earth. He had to remember because he had to recognize her when they met. He began to pray silently asking that his memory hold a picture in his mind of Bella forever. As he prayed he realized it was not her physical appearance that would be what he recognized but rather the beauty of her gentle and loving soul. He thanked God for that reminder. He prayed that the Lord would bless him with a body that would not have any broken or deformed genes so that he would be able to give Bella healthy and strong babies. He prayed that Bella's body would also have strong genes with no broken or deformed ones so that she could receive and carry his seed through and to full term birth. He prayed that God would understand this last request and not see it as selfish or insensitive. He had come to love Amiir so much more than he ever thought a father could. He prayed that Amiir's soul might choose to reside within one of the children that they would have. He did not want to leave his son as his new journey started, but he also did not want to ask for something that was wrong in any way. He was, after all Mayte's son too. And although she would be long gone from the earth by the time he returned or his children were born (God willing), he did not want to deprive her in any way of knowing Amiir. He could only express his desire in his prayerful petition and let Jesus decide what was right and how it should be answered or if it should at all.

Prince began to think about this faith journey he had started so long ago. He had believed in God all of his life. He could not remember a time when he did not. As a very young man he had been fascinated by the varied beliefs of different religions within different cultures. As an avid reader he had read as many books about as many different beliefs as he could. For as long as he could remember he had believed in reincarnation. His belief was pretty straight forward. He thought that earth was a giant classroom and we were sent there to learn lessons and to be given the free will to make choices which showed whether we had learned those lessons or not. Just like any other educational experience, we would either pass, fail or get by in those lessons. The more we passed the less times we would return to earth.

After Amiir's death he was so lost, so very lost. He knew he may have even entered a form of madness for awhile. He drank more heavily that he ever had in his life and he remembered thinking that a couple of homes he had lived in or let others live in had become infected with something that he had described on more than one occasion as being haunted. He had them both bulldozed to the ground. While going through that period, he had started to study the Bible with a friend and fellow musician named Larry Graham. Larry practiced his faith within the context of being a Jehovah Witness. He was older and represented the father figure Prince had longed for all of his life but had not found in his own father. Like many religions Jehovah Witnesses used an extreme structure to attempt to make order out of an order less, chaotic world. The "Truth", as the Jehovah Witness teachings are referred to, offer a very distinct set of beliefs that brought great comfort to Prince as he went through this period of his life. While most of the mainstream Christian denominations referred to the Jehovah Witnesses as a cult, Prince embraced the structure of the faith very enthusiastically and not only knocked on doors to spread the "Truth" but also wrote of his new found beliefs in his lyrics. There was no room in the Faith for reincarnation and so he did not talk about it or discuss it for several years. But, like all things, as we live and we learn, we grow, and as we grow, we expand. At the end of his life he had been pulled toward exploring the Eastern Faith Structures again.