The Silence Within

Chapter 64

I am a survivor of those late nights when I soaked my pillows, of moments when I felt myself breaking apart, those times I lost hope in everything I believe in, felt worthless and not worthy of what I have. 

I am a survivor of immense pain that devoured every mote of glee within me leaving behind skeletons of sorrow and desolation, of the damages left behind by someone's sharp tongue, slaughtering opinions and spiteful voice. 

I have risen from the abyss of obscurity into a translucent domain of clarity. I am a survivor and with every hitch life throws at me, I evolve STRONGER.

A decade since her death, yet each time he thought about her, his contentment is feasted upon by scavenging pain, ripping every single jot of comfort, peace and happiness from him, leaving simply carcasses of guilt and anguish. Toni was twelve and he was thirteen when Toni and her family moved in next door. The house they lived in was an aged story building with twenty eight apartments. The walls were worn out, painting fading with uneven cracks that was an indication of the building's weakness. The neighbours who lived on the top floor complained about leaking roof during rainy season and everyone complained of the lack of ventilation during dry season.

Each apartment contained a single room, a bathroom and kitchen and they all had tiny windows that barely ventilate the house. His mother could not cook in the miniature kitchen. She took out the kerosene stove to the corridor to cook just like most neighbours did. Different families, most husbands, wives and children could barely afford a three square meal. Those bland stews and soups with no meat or fish could still be tasted on his tongue. The concoction rice his mother made is still a repelling image engraved his memory. The men were mostly danfo drivers, okada riders, or minimal labourers and the women were hawkers or seasonal small traders. Joshua's mother used to hawk food for a living. His father was a danfo driver who scarcely spend time with his family for he worked every day.

They lived in a community where the use of hard drugs and alcohol were widespread. Gang fights were nothing new. The sudden outbreak of a fight or someone dying from the slash of a cutlass or stab of a broken bottle was a normal thing. Parents do not even care about the lives their children lived or what their children did but his mother did. Yet, he lived a life of his own choosing. The youths were thieves and they did dangerous and illegal jobs for a living.

On Toni's first day at the community grammar school, her mother had requested Joshua to walk her to school since he goes to the same school. It became a regular thing. They arrived from school together. Assignments were not taken serious. They did not even have notes for most subjects. In a class where there were over hundred students, no teacher cared whether the students have notes or do assignments. There were barely enough seats in class for the students. They either sat on the windows or brought chairs from home.

Growing up with poor parents, they were forced to pick people's purses and items at the busy bus stop. People, packed together, strolled through the bus-stop daily. They snuck in between them and picked whatever their hands could reach. It was a talent they were skilled at. After stealing, they sorted out the purses, bags, wallets and valuable items then sold them for money they could never explain how they spent. No one suspected children of their age. It was fun and an act they did for a very long time until they got tired of it. Well, he did not. Toni did.

Joshua worked for a man called Chairman. Chairman ruled Isale Eko then. He was feared by all and worked for rich men and politicians who owned illegal businesses. He carried out their dirty jobs. Chairman was a drug dealer, sold hard drugs to the community, an assassin and the bad guy no one wants to cross. Any kind of hard drug could be gotten from him. Joshua was sure he was making a lot from his illegal works. As a young boy, he looked up to Chairman. He chose to work for him because he hoped to be like him one day, have people bow at his feet, sit on a throne and have people carry out his dirty jobs. Toni was against it yet, he went ahead with his decision. He knew he would get to places, earn a lot of money and learn the illicit skill from Chairman and one day, rule Isale Eko. In his early teenage years, he delivered drugs for Chairman because he was smart. No one could cheat him. He was an outspoken child and was good at calculations. Toni used to escort him until she said she can't again. He remembered how she tried to talk him out of such a life but he never listened. He wanted a good life where he could afford anything without looking at its price and he was going to have that life no matter what it takes.