#16: He hits you

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Gerard was writing new songs, like always, we never did anything together anymore, I felt distant from him, everyday was a challenge with him, we hadn't talked in days, I needed to do something.

I had booked a place at a restaurant in town, it had only opened a month ago and I thought that it would be nice too go and a surprise for Gerard. He worked so hard for us both, I wanted to treat him.

I walked upstairs and I got changed into the dress Gerard loved, my short black dress that came just above the knee and the black lace that covered my chest area and came half way down my arms. I placed my hair into a loose bun at the top of my head and placed my red lipstick on, I was ready too wow Gerard.

I walked down the spiral staircase to find Gerard where he had been for weeks now, at the workspace table, I looked at him with sad eyes.

'Here goes nothing'

I whispered out loud to myself, I walked across the room bare footed, the wooden flooring creaking with every step I took, I sat down on the chair next to him and began conversation we hadn't had in days.

"Hey Gee, I've got a surprise for you"

I said proudly to him a smile lightening up my face , he looked at me with angry eyes, he dropped his pen on the table and roared at me like I had never seen him before

"What Y/N? can't you see I'm busy? I don't have time for your stupid games tonight"

Anger filled his face, his lip curled upwards and gave me a glare.

I stood up from my chair and looked at him, my eyes glazed over with tears that were ready too fall and my hands clenched into tight fists. I had enough, he needed to know what I've been witnessing these past few days.

"My stupid games? what about yours? we haven't talked in DAYS Gerard! How do you think that makes me feel? I want to spend time with you? I feel distant from you!"

I shouted at him, my face still filled with anger and hands still clenched, I was sad, angry, so many emotions going through my head. He stood up from his chair and walked toward me, his face a shade of tomato red, his fists clenched like mine, I had never seen him like this before, he had never been this angry.

"Well, I'm so sorry princess Y/N for not catering for your every need, I'm sorry I work to provide for this 'family' and no pay enough attention to you, your such a bitch, You don't appreciate me or anything I do, why am I even dating you?"

That was it, I walked towards him till I was face to face with him, I was so close too him, I could feel his breathe on my face.

"You know what Gerard, I don't know why I bother, I dot work because you didn't want me too work, I never see you, you know what, so many people don't see what I see, a miserable, sad, ALCOHOLIC, DRUG ADDICT MESS!"

I screamed at him, until I felt a hard fist hit my red, hot face knocking me to the floor, hitting my head on the wooden floor, I lay on the floor for 20 seconds, confused at what had happened, until I realised, Gerard had hit me.

I picked myself up and winced as my cold hand touched my, now, burning face, I could feel the bruise already forming, I looked at Gerard as his eyes and face had turned from anger and upset into heartache and sadness from what he had just done.
He walked towards me and whispered

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby" he walked more towards me, I shuffled back and protected my face

"Don't come any closer, please"

Terror was written all over my face, his eyes now glazed over with tears, one coming down from his eye onto his cold cheek. I picked myself up and ran to mine and Gerard's bedroom and locked the door, I needed time on my own, I needed some space, I slid down the wooden door and broke down, tears flooded my face, my mascara forming black pools under my eyes, what was next for me and Gerard? Was there going to be a me and Gerard?

"Y/N?, please baby, we need to talk, please open the door"

I wiped my eyes and opened the door too Gerard, he placed his hand on my face as gently as he could, I winced at the pain and he looked at me in distress and he hugged me and I hugged him back.

"I'm so sorry baby girl, I'm so sorry, I won't do it again, ever, ever in my life, I will never put you in danger again, I love you"

He hugged me tighter and I whispered into his ear

"I'm sorry for saying them things and I forgive you, I do, I now you were angry, very angry, it was my fault-"

"It wasn't your fault, it will never be your fault, ever okay baby? It was my fault, I need to change, I need to spend more time with you, I have been distant, I didn't mean them things I said too you, I never will do, I love you forever and always"

He leaned back to look at me and I half smiled at him, I hugged him tighter.

I knew this would be a long road to recovery, but me and Gerard could do it together, as a team.

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