Deeper Meaning

I Miss Everything

Devante's POV

It's hot as fuck in this bitch. I'm up here sweating and shit. Somebody must've turned the heater up. I walked from my studio to the living room to change the heat. "Aye nigga. Don't touch the heater. It was cold as shit in here at first.", Dalvin said. "It wasn't cold in here. Yo nike sign ass eyebrows just can't handle normal weather at all.", I said with an attitude. "Nigga fuck you....big ears ass freak.", Dalvin said as I was turning the heat down. "My nigga yo whole body shaped like a crumpled tube of toothpaste...fuck outta here with that shit.", I said while going back to  the studio.Now, the studio has to and will always be my favorite place to be besides my bedroom of course. It's like the churches that me and Dalvin used to go to in Charlotte. It's big as hell and spacious  and it has a feeling of safety. I felt vibrations coming from my thigh. Who tf calling me now? I grabbed my phone from my pocket. I looked at my phone and saw the name Fendi across the screen and answered it quickly. 

"Hello?", Fendi said. "Uhh..hey.", I said kinda nervously. "Hey Devante, I called the voodoo dude from the card you gave to me and he said something weird to me but I can't understand what the hell he was talking about though.", she said.  "What did he say to you?", I asked. "Well he just saying how my life will soon be like a box in the closet.", she said. I had a confused look on my face. Shit I was lost as to what the fuck he was talking about. Ion no damn scientist but I know that shit means something ain't right or something is about to happen. "Do you know what that means?", she asked me. "My guess is that something isn't right in your life or something wrong is about to come in your life.", I guessed. Fendi sighed. "Would our....relationship be something considered wrong to you?", Fendi asked.  Our relationship. wow. "No. Why you ask?", I said. "I was asking just to ask. I mean...I just thought you wouldn't care or even  liked me as a person.", she said while correcting herself. "What? ", I said while chuckling. "I do care about you. I deeply care about you, Fendi like the bag. And if I didn't like you as a person, don't you think that I would've never answered the phone when you call or even gone to Latin Patent with you right?", I said with a light smile on my face. "I guess you right. I'm just tripping. It's just when he was talking to me, he looked at me like he was sorry for me.", Fendi said. Damn. "Well whatever that ain't going right with you, you needa cut that shit off quickly.", I said. "I know that now....well....I guess I'll call you back whenever, right?", she said shyly. "I guess you can. I'll always answer whenever you call me. Remember that.", I said. "I'll make a notation of that. See you soon, I guess.", Fendi said. "I guess you will. Peace.", I said before hanging up the phone.

 "Is she a baddie?", somebody said. I turned around to see who it was. It was Dalvin cockroach looking ass. "What nigga?", I said. "I said Is she a baddie?", Dalvin said. "Nigga that ain't none of yo damn business.", I said while walking out of the studio into the kitchen. Dalvin hoe ass was following me. "What's ha name?", he asked. "Nancy.", I lied. "Nigga stop lying. Ain't ha name Fenty, Fendi or some shit like that?", he said. Tf was the whole point of asking if you already know her name? "It's Fendi nigga...like the bag.", I said while rolling my eyes and trying to get some food in the refrigerator. "Is she fine?", he asked. I smirked a little bit. "I mean she alright.", I said. "What you mean she alright?", Dalvin nosy ass asked. "It just mean she alright.", I said while still smirking. "My nigga, do she got you sprung?", he asked. "Shit. I guess you can something like that.", I said. "You been laying it down?", he asked. I looked at him with a confused look on my face. "NIgga what?", I asked. "Damn nigga is you going deaf? I said have you been laying it down?", he said. "Nigga hell naw. The only thing I'm laying down is my body when I lay on the bed and my hair. We're just talking to each other.", I said. "Oh, you tryna talk your way to it?", Dalvin said while laughing.

 "Naw nigga. I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that we talk and when we talk....it feels like I'm talking to....Yvette again.", I admitted. Dalvin looked at me with a sad look on his face. "De...You haven't talked or seen Yvette or Fu in 18 years. Man, do you know that's a long ass time. Have you been talking to Zhen", he asked. "Nope. Yvette told me that she forgot about me so I thought that there was no point if she already forgotten about me.", I said. "Man you know that ain't right. What is the real reason you haven't talked to Zhen?", Dalvin asked. I blew my breath out of frustration. 

"To be honest...Ion even know....maybe because I was ashamed of myself from taking those pills after the motorcycle accident. I didn't want her seeing me like that.", I said. "Look De... I know you was fucked up back in '01 but you got better since then. You gave up the pills and went stright back to the studio.", Dalvin said. "What the fuck is your point?", I said with a confused look on my face. "Nigga, my point is that you bettered yourself. I know Yvette and Fu are still worried about you since then. Maybe it's time that you should be the bigger person and....write to them.", he said. I can't believe this nigga. He was right. Yvette and Fu are probably still worried about me. I wish I could them that I'm fine and better now. I wish I could hug Yvette and tell he that I'm sorry. I wish I could tell Fu that I'm sorry for not being a brother to him. And I should definitely apologize to Zhen. Her parents and I beef shouldn't have affected Zhen like the way it did. I miss the funny talks me and Yvette would have all the time whenever we saw each other. I miss playing cards  with Fu, Dalvin, K-ci &Jojo on Sundays. Shit I even miss seeing Dyana and Zhen palying and talking with each other whenever they could. I just miss all of it. 

"De..De...De...Devante.", Dalvin said interrupting my thoughts. "What?", I said snapping back into reality. "I said are you gonna write them?", he said. "Yeah. I'm gonna write to them.", I said. "Well...when are you gone start?", Dalvin asked. I looked at him and said, "I'm writing to them tomorrow. And you helping me write this letter too.", I said. "Alright.", he said. I can't believe it. I'm gonna write to Yvette, Fu and Zhen tomorrow after 18 years of not speaking to each other. This finna be crazy as hell.