Book 2: My Complicated Romance with Derek Hale (Teen Wolf Fan Fic)

Tane: Stuck On The Outside

I'm an idiot, literally the biggest moron on the entire planet. I brought the ring a week ago because I knew Kristin would love it the instance I saw it. It was just meant to be a present- not an engagement ring. The only reason I proposed tonight is because of Derek. I can't help but feel insecure now that he is back in town but I shouldn't have proposed . . . I panicked.
Smart move dumbass! I silently curse myself as I sit at the bar while clutching my cold and half drunken beer. I need a time machine to go back an hour in time and stop myself from bending down on one knee and saying the four words 'will you marry me'.
It's too soon for Kristin and our relationship but I don't want to lose her although she has been pulling away from me and shutting me out. I don't know how to knock down her walls. I don't want to be on the outside anymore. I want her to let me in. I hate being on the outside.
I'm never going to get girls. I sigh out loud. There are a few people eating late dinners at the round tables as well as a few people sitting at the bar, but other than that it's relatively quiet for a Thursday night.
"Long day?" Steve the bartender asks. He's in his late forties with a receding hair line, and his light brown hair matches his brown eyes and he has many smile lines at the corner of his mouth and eyes.
"And night," I snicker and shake my head. What if she never lets me in? What if she still isn't over Derek? I wish I could read her mind. I just need to know if she truly loves me. I know she has dated some jerks since Derek, but why am I the one suffering for it?
"Girl problems?"
"As always," I reply before I take a big mouthful of my beer.
"Chocolates and flowers will get you back in the good books, but you got to go all out and get the expensive stuff," Steve smirks as he starts drying the glasses and placing them back on the shelf behind him.
"I think it's going to take more than that, do you happen to have a time machine handy?" I smirk.
"I wish," Steve laughs.
So do I. I silently add.
"Someone doesn't look happy is Kristin being a hoe?" I recognise Phoebe's voice and she sits on the bar stool to my left. Phoebe and I have a long and very complicated history.
"Don't call her that," I snap.
"Okay it sounds like you need a few more beers, bad day?" Phoebe asks as she shakes her head at Steve and he heads down the other end of the bar to the other few patrons.
"I don't want to talk about it," I reply and Phoebe grabs my beer and takes a big mouthful before she puts it back in front of me- usual Phoebe behaviour always helping herself to things that aren't hers.
"Oh come on sharing is caring," Phoebe swivels in her seat so her body is facing me.
"I really don't feel like talking about it," I insist and Phoebe sighs in annoyance before she rolls her eyes.
"What is it about guys and being tight lipped about everything, you need to chill out," Phoebe replies and calls over Steve.
"What can I get you lovely lady?" Steve asks.
"Two shots of tequila actually make that four," Phoebe grins from ear to ear and I know better than to object. She will force feed me if I don't give her a choice and that never ends well. Half of it ends up on my shirt.

"I can't believe you proposed!" Phoebe chuckles as she puts down the lime wedge, we just had our fourth shot of tequila.
"I know okay I'm an idiot. It has only been six months," I slur slightly and laugh. I feel happy and my body feels as light as a feather but my head is spinning like I'm on a roller coaster ride. I don't mind, I can spend all day on rides. I don't even feel nauseous yet or annoyed when I think about Kristin and how she is still refusing to let me in.
"Is my relationship doomed?" I ask with a smile. I shouldn't be smiling but I'm a happy drunk I can't help it.
"Of course it's doomed. I'm the only one for you, the sooner you realise that the better," Phoebe laughs and I can't help but laugh as well. It was probably doomed from the start, but then again maybe she just needs more time.
"I don't know what to do," I continue to laugh and Phoebe laughs along with me.
Why am I laughing?
It was easy with Phoebe and I didn't have to try. She let me in all the way. Phoebe didn't keep me at a distance. I know everything about her and she knows everything about me but what if Kristin just needs more time.
"I think it's obvious," Phoebe sways in her seat.
"What's obvious?" I grin like an idiot. The bar stool is the only thing keeping me upright at the moment.
"Us. . . we're great together."
"I don't know about great, we fight a lot," I laugh as the memories flash through my mind. Some of our arguments ended with smashed plates, but I have to admit the passion between us was insane, we always made up.
"But the makeup sex was crazy right?" Phoebe chuckles and smirks.
"Yes it was," I smile and Phoebe's lips crash against mine. At first the shock has hold of my body but then out of instinct I open my mouth as Phoebe's tongue runs along my bottom lip.
My brain isn't working and I don't even know what is happening. My body automatically responds and my arms wrap around her as her tongue enters my mouth. It feels so right but also wrong. I shouldn't be doing this should I? I think I need to stop. There's a reason I need to stop.
"I've missed you," Phoebe says after she pulls her lips from mine.
"I've missed you too," I reply but I know I shouldn't have said it back. I should be stopping this. I need to stop this.
"Kristin," I say out loud and Phoebe sighs in frustration before she slumps back in her seat.
"I was wondering when you were going to bring her up," Phoebe slurs and rolls her eyes.
Suddenly my mind is clear: 100% clear and I gasp as I realise what I have just done.
"Shit . . . Fuck god damn it!" I curse out loud and I wish I was drunk again. I want my mind to be foggy and unaware of the mistake I made because now the guilt is punching me in stomach relentlessly, leaving me to feel ill.
"It can be our little secret," Phoebe smirks.
"I can't believe I just did that," The worst part is that part of me wants to kiss Phoebe again. I'm a dick. I'm a cheating asshole. I've never cheated in my life. I can't believe I've just wronged Kristin. I'm just another guy that cheated on her.
Fuck! What have I done!

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