Can you fix my heart? 💙ChaeLisa💜

Twenty-Three💔

"You stole the love that I saved for myself and I watched you give it to somebody else."

I purposely didn't sleep, I stayed up all night. It was a rough one that I have to go through, she keeps bugging me, begging to talk to me. I mean what for? It's obvious that they love each other, she doesn't need to rub it on my face. I get it, I'm no longer the one she loves.

I was stupid and delusional. Our relationship failed months ago but I still believed that maybe, just maybe she will learn to love me again but it turns out I just dug myself a grave.

I really feel weak, I just wanted to sleep but I needed to save myself, I need to get out from this house because if I let myself stay a little longer, i'll die of suffocation, not literally though but metaphorically. I looked at the clock and it says 3:45 am. I picked up my suitcase and went out of my room. It's time to leave, I guess. My mind and heart was having their debate whether if I should take a look at Lisa or not. I guess it's safe to say that my heart won. I opened the door of our room and saw her peacefully asleep, her eyes were swollen and she's having deep breaths. Before, I can stay forever looking at her but it feels different now, everytime I look at her, it's like a reminder of the pain and hell that I've been through. I still love her but I do realize that I should love myself more. It might sound cliché but I really need to find myself. I lost myself in the process of loving her.

I kissed her forehead and left the letter which I wrote to her a while ago. I quickly stood up, afraid that I might change my mind. One last look at the entirety of our house. It feels bittersweet, Lisa and I built so many memories here and at the same time it was also a witness of how miserable I've become.

It was snowing outside, the blizzard makes me feel chilly and my body's freezing. I walked outside and felt the weight of my heart and right there and then, I broke down. I cried not minding that I might die of hypothermia but hell I care, I feel like I died a long time ago anyway. Nothing feels more painful than the heart of my love who turned her back on me, who dumped me. I was crying, and weeping but what can I do? I feel devastated.

"There you are!" I heard a voice, I looked up and saw

"U-unnie?" I throw my body at Jisoo Unnie and began to cry again. When will I stop crying? I feel so tired.

"It's okay, Chae. Everything will be okay." She's rubbing my back while I am hugging her. I hugged her tight.

"I-it's o-over. I gave up, Unnie."

"You did the right thing, Chae. It's about time." Jennie unnie hugged me and she was also crying.

"Did I unnie?" I asked her and I'm still sobbing.

"Yes you did, Chae. I hate to see you crying, it pains me too. Look how gloomy you are and you lost a lot of weight. I hate seeing you like this. You don't deserve this" She kissed my forehead and hugged me tight. It feels good that they are here. To save me.

"Thank you, unnies but how did you know? Why are you here?" I was confused

"Jennie and I decided to go here since it was your birthday, we wanted to celebrate it with you since Lisa doesn't have time for you and It's the 5th day remember? we're here to pick you up."

"And I had a gut feeling earlier that something terrible is going to happen. So I told Jisoo that we should go here and by the looks of it, you weeping in the street, I knew something happened." They are really the angels of my life, even if I didn't say anything, they know how I really feel. I was so speechless, all I ever do is to hug them and thank them.

"Stop with the thankyou's, Chae. We love you so much. Always, remember that, okay?." Jennie unnie looked at her watch.

"We've been waiting for you to step outside since 9 pm. I'm sure you're tired. Let's go home so you can rest." Jisoo unnie hold my hand and pulled me so I can stand up. They both hugged me, enough to make me feel that I am loved.

"Thank you, unnies. I don't know what to do without you. I may lost a sister but I gained two big sisters in you. Since she passed away, I appreciate how caring you've become to me, you protect me like I'm really your little sister and I am forever grateful." I saw Jennie unnie wiping her tears and so did Jisoo unnie. It's the first time I saw her cry.

"I love you, baby chae." Jennie unnie kissed my cheeks.

"And I love you too. You might be hurting right now but soon you'll be okay" Jisoo unnie hold my hand and guide me towards their car. I take a look at our house for the last time.

"Good bye, My Lalisa" I couldn't help but feel emotional because now, it's over. I'm really giving up on her. Did I really made the right decision?

"Chae, we're here." I looked outside and saw a different house. It wasn't Lisa and I house, I let reality sink in that it is really happening. Jisoo unnie guided me until we reached inside.

"Wait, I forgot something." Jennie unnie exclaimed. She went towards the refrigerator.

"Make a wish and blow this cake. Happy Birthday, Chae." Jennie unnie gave me a warm smile. While Jisoo unnie patted my head and took a photo of me. I closed my eyes and I wished. It was all I really wanted.

"To be happy."