Shawn Mendes Imagines

Panicked

Requested by and dedicated to: 

Requests are always open

--

"Will you sit down please?" Shawn asks me as he watches me pace back and forth through his dressing room.

I stop and look at him.

"And stop biting your nails." He says and gets up. He pulls my hand away from my mouth and I half smile at him.

"Sorry." I say.

"Why are you so worried?" He asks me. I look down at my feet because I feel kind of silly even thinking about it.

"It's probably nothing." I shake my head and look away.

"Hey..." Shawn says and tilts my head up so that I'm looking at him. "Tell me what's bothering you, please." 

"It's just a dream I had last night." I say and shrug. I make it seem like it's not a bid deal, but really it kind of is to me.

I didn't sleep at all last night because of it.

"What happened in it?" He asks me.

"I'm not exactly sure. All I know is that someone I love got hurt....and I-I couldn't do anything about it." I say and then go to sit on the couch. "It kind of reminded me of..." I trail off because I can't say it.

"You're sister." He says it for me. I nod my head and try not to think about that too much.

Four years ago my sister died in a car crash. She was living away from home and so was I, so there was absolutely nothing I could do. By the time I got home, she had already passed.

Shawn comes over to me and grabs my hands.

"It's all going to be okay." He says and kisses my forehead. I faintly smile and nod.

"Shawn it's time." The stage manager comes in and then leaves.

Shawn and I lock eyes and I nod at him.

"Go. They're waiting for you." I say and he kisses me before leaving. 

I sit on the couch trying to calm my nerves and stop stressing out so much. I watched Shawn on the monitor as he performed. 

As always he was doing incredible. 

I decided to lie down and close my eyes for a bit. 

--

I look around in a hurry. I see people everywhere. 

Everything seems to be moving in slow motion for me. I look to see a big family chatting in the waiting room, some doctors speaking to a woman and then she breaks down crying, and a husband in pink scrubs being hugged by his family.

I see the front desk and charge towards it.

I start to speak to the lady, but I can't hear myself for some reason. She answered whatever I said to her and I know exactly where I'm going now somehow.

I start running, but it doesn't feel like my feet are moving fast enough.

My heart is pounding incredibly hard and incredibly fast. I shove past people and get into the elevator. 

I'm in here alone and it feels like an eternity waiting. I have to lean again the wall because I feel faint now.

As soon as the doors open I start running again.  My vision starts to become  a little blurry and the noises of everyone around me become muffled.

I blink my eyes multiple times trying to clear my vision, but it doesn't work.

Finally, I reach my destination. All at once, my sight and hearing are coming at me full force.

It's like everything is magnified. 

That's when I see him lying there. Bruised, bandaged, and hurt. The beeping of Shawn's monitor seems painfully loud as it goes from a steady beeping, to just one long beep.

"There was nothing more we could do." Someone says and I drop to my knees. The impact of my body hitting the floor felt a lot hardened than it should have.

As soon as I hit the ground everything goes black.

--

My eyelids fly open and I feel someone shaking my shoulders.

"Y/n! Y/n!" I see Mike and Geoff, but everything is spinning and nothing makes sense. I sit up and I feel like I can't breath.

My chest hurts and I lean over and clutch my arms to my chest as I try to breath.

I feel like the room is spinning and even though the guys are speaking to me, it feels like their voices aren't even there.

I feel my heat practically beating out of my chest, my entire body is shaking, and tears are just streaming down my face.

My breathing is fast and short. It feels like my throat is closed and I can't breath.

I shake my head as the memories are flying through my head. I don't exactly know where I am. 

I remember. The hospital. The words "There was nothing more we could do."   keep repeating over and over in my head. 

"What do we do?" I hear Geoffs voice.

"Where is he? He might know what to do." Mike says.

The image of Shawn lying in that hospital bed is stuck in my head. The fact that I wasn't there with him kills me.

"What's going on?" I hear his voice and it feels like it's too good to be true. Nothing seems real right now.

"She was sleeping and she was screaming in her sleep and crying. She was breathing hard and so I woke her up and I think she's having a panic attack." 

All of a sudden I feel two big warm hand come to my cheeks. His face appears right in front of me and I feel my body start shaking even more than before.

"Shawn." I managed to breath out. 

"Y/n I need you to breath okay?" He says and so I try but it's so hard. 

He wraps his arms around me tight and the tears start coming on now more than ever.

"You-you were gone." I cry into his chest.

"I'm here. I'm here." He says over and over. 

"Is this real?" I ask him unsure of what's reality and what isn't.

"Yes, I'm real. This is real." He says and then looks at me.

I shake my head trying to put everything together. I still feel like I can't quite catch my breath.

Then Shawn plants his lips on mine and suddenly it's like all the air I need was given to me.

Our lips moved together slowly and then we pulled away. My breathing is slow, full, and heavy now. My shaking comes to a stop and Shawn wiped my tears away.

"You're fine and I'm fine." He says and grabs my face again. "It was just a dream." 

I wrap my arms around him and everything comes together slowly.

"Are you okay?" Shawn asks me and I look at him and nod. 

"I just feel tired, but I think I'm fine now." I say and take a deep breath. "Shawn it was awful. I thought you were dead. Well you were....but it was just a dream." I say and I feel my eyes begin to water again.

"Shh." Shawn says and he rubs his thumb across my cheek. "I'm here. Very much alive. I'm not going anywhere."