Wavy (ON HOLD)

Chapter 28

  Solána
October 28, 2017
Juilliard School

" The showcase is coming up in a month or so, but I'd like us to start prepping early. You guys are welcome to work in groups or by yourself."

"Tomorrow the auditorium will be open for practice. But for now, you guys can work in here. Good luck." Mrs. Green walks to her desk, and sits down.

Everyone disperses around the class, breaking into different groups. I sigh to myself, completely dreading the activity.

At Julliard we have a showcase every winter  and would have to perform for each of our arts. Last year I had opted out of my music one, and got an alternative assignment.

   This year Mrs. Green wasn't having it. She was requiring me to perform a solo for the showcase. I don't know how I would do it with my stage fright and extreme anxiety.

   But that's what I had to be prepared for if I wanted a career in music, right?

   It was almost ironic how I had a desire to pursue music and be a performer , yet I was scared of performing in front of a lot of people and scared of stages.

Maybe my mom was right. Maybe I do need to give up this dream of mine. I don't even have enough confidence in myself to perform in front of others.

I don't know what it would take to get over my fear of performing. I always focused on what others think to the point where I stop myself from going after the things I wanted in life.

   Something would have to give.

I decide to not focus on the project for today. I put on my headphones, tuning everything out.

  Jesus take the wheel.

*                            *                                  *                       *

I walk into poetry class in a better mood, wondering what it would bring today.

   I hadn't seen Nokia since yesterday and I was lowkey excited to see her again.

I didn't really know much about her, but she was a cool person and someone I liked spending time with. At least from what I could tell.

   She was really goofy yet intellectual, and clearly more than what met the eye.

   I know we'd probably never talk outside of school or after this project but I couldn't help but hope that we could have a friendship.

    That's probably not something she wanted though so I wouldn't force it. She probably just looked at me as another classmate and just someone to do the project with.

   I would just live in the moment and not think about after the project ended.

   Destiny. Destiny. Destiny.

    I repeated the name to myself, smiling. I was surprised when I found out that was her name yesterday.

   I always addressed her as Nokia not knowing her real name. It was like a shocking revelation, finding out her actual name.

      " What you daydreaming about ?" I hear a voice and look up quickly. It's Nokia, or should I say Destiny.

   She sits down besides me, grabbing a couple things out her bag, before directing her attention to me again.

    She arches her eyebrow with an amused grin on her face, waiting for an answer.

           "You." I absentmindedly say.