Crestfallen

46: Taking Responsibility.

*****

Day 9 of 10 left
Hakase’s residence
2:17 PM

Haibara took a seat on the couch. She was really tired…and sleep-deprived. She closed her eyes for a moment as she let herself relax on the couch. She wanted to sleep. She was about to stand up to go to her room when she caught sight of something on the coffee table.

It was a glossy red envelope.

She stared at it for some time then took it slowly. She tore it open, and her eyes widened in bewilderment at the content.

It was an invitation…An invitation to Ran’s engagement party.

*****

Without further thought, she rushed to the detective’s house. He was drinking a cup of coffee while watching a soccer game on the television. He didn’t seem to notice her presence yet. She gets the remote and immediately turned it off.

“Wha—?” he glared at his uninvited guest, but his eyes widened in shock to see the scientist. “Haibara? Why?” he asked in confusion.

The scientist just glared at him. “Why?” she whispered with clenched jaw.

“Why?” Conan repeated confusingly. “Is there a problem?” he added.

Haibara throw the card on the couch where he was sitting. His eyes showed understanding upon seeing the invitation.

“I’m alright, Haibara.” He told her as he looks at her. She was throwing him looks of dagger.

“Why didn’t you tell me that Mouri-san’s getting engaged? And you tell me you’re alright? Who are you kidding?!”

He was taken aback by her response. It was rare for her to be this angry. She was clenching her fist, a sure sign that she was furious.

He sighed. “It’s alright. Ran…she’s happy.”

“And you’re not?! Gods, Kudo-kun, you’re a fool.” She scoffed.

He grunted. “What’s wrong with you?! It’s my problem. And I told you it’s alright. Why can’t you believe me?” he frustratingly replied.

“Because there is no fcking way that should be true! Gods, this is Mouri-san we are talking about. The love of your life! Your angel! And she was about to be married to someone else!”

“I know!” he cried exasperated. “And I told you for the fcking nth time that it’s alright! I am over her. Don’t make this harder again. I already accepted our fate.”

Haibara stared at him disbelievingly. He stood up and took a step towards her. She took a step back.

“Haibara…” he called.

She glared. “You should be angry at me. Yell at me. I can accept that…but t-this…” her voice cracked as a lone tear escaped from her eyes. Conan instinctively wanted to wipe it off from her face. She was broken and in pain. “You’re telling me that you are okay, well in fact you are not. Your ill-fated love with her…It’s my fault. If only…” she trembled as she felt tears falling. She did not even care she’s crying in front of someone. She was just too hurt for him. If the detective doesn’t want to cry for himself, then she will. She can at least do that.

“I…I need to get out of here.” She whispered after a while. The detective’s eyes widened at her comment. He was sure she had meant something else.

“Hey! Don’t you dare!” he countered while he grabs her wrist. “We had a deal! I’m not yet finished with my reasons.”

“I don’t care about those goddamned reasons! I can give you million reasons to counter all those! Can’t you see, it’s all my fault?! I need to be gone.”

“Fine! If that’s what make you contented, then it’s your fault! So take responsibility, damn it.” His voice broke, his eyes sting. Is he on the verge of crying? He felt his face…and rub his eyes. He was indeed nearly tearing up. He inhaled sharply and look at the scientist who was on tears. She was glaring at him.

“If only I could turn you back to Kudo Shinichi, I would have done it ages ago. God forbid, I wanted to.” She whispered. “But I can’t. Damn it, I can’t.” she covered her face with her hands. It was too much. She cannot bear to see the face of the detective. It was like all the bottled-up guilt and remorse have finally decided to come out.

It was heartbreaking. Just the sight of her crying was enough to break his heart into million pieces. He wanted her to stop torturing herself. She had been through a lot already.

“If you really think it’s your fault, Hai, then do me a favor.” He said as he holds her hand. It was trembling and cold.

She questioningly looked at him.

“Reason number nine: Take responsibility for your actions cause I can’t lose you now, Hai. If you’re that guilty that my love story became an ill-fate, then be with me. Stay with me and never leave.”

*****

A/N: And that leaves us with just one more day. I'm getting emotional. Hahaha. The next chap will be the last, I guess.