Crestfallen

28: Late Night Talks

*****

Teitan High School.
Back of the event hall. Garden.
23:23

Conan walked silently and slowly. It was hard to see with just the little illumination from the outside lamps and the moon.
The music from the hall can still be heard, but it was faint. He looks around and squinted his eyes for clearer vision. It looks like no one was here. He was about to turn back when he heard something, like a cracking noise when someone stepped on a dry twig. He searched where the sound came from and his heart pounded when he caught a familiar figure with his eyes.

Before he even had second thoughts, he walked up to the figure.

Haibara Ai was sitting on the grass surrounded by flowers in the garden.

‘Beautiful.’ Conan thought to himself as he stared at her. She was still clueless to his presence.

“Bored already?” Conan blurted out to catch her attention. Haibara sharply turned towards him. If she was surprised, she had successfully concealed it.

“I should be asking you the same thing.” She smirked. “Bored already?”

“Yeah, you could say that.” Conan smiled before he took a step and sat beside her. Haibara’s heartbeat doubled at the sudden proximity.

Awkward silence enveloped them. Conan cleared his throat to break the silence.

“Kids these days, are, how d’you say it, rather adventurous.” He stated to start a conversation.

Haibara chuckled. It sounds music to his ears. “Yeah. And you sound like a really old man while saying that.”

He raised a brow. “Really?”

Haibara nodded. “Yeah, like you had been living a hundred years already.”

Conan nodded in understanding, “You know what, I feel really old actually.”

She fell silent as soon as she heard his reply. Conan confusingly looked at her. “Haibara?” he called.

“Sorry.” She whispered after some second. Conan sharply looked at her. There she was again.

“As far as I remember, I should be the one saying that word to you.” He replied rather deeply.

“No. It was my fault. You should be enjoying your life as Kudo Shinichi right now, and not getting bored in this stupid party.” She stated as she looks at him.

He sighed before he locked gazes at her. “I thought we have already talk about this. I don’t blame you, Hai. And my life as Conan isn’t as bad as you think it is. I’m happy here, you see?”

“Well, not as happy as when you were Shinichi, I presume. And Mouri-san is still waiting, you know.”

“Look, Haibara. Ran is moving on without me. And I am moving on too. I can live my life being Conan…” his voice trailed, and he look deeply into her eyes as he whispered “…as long as you’re here with me.”

They stared at each other for a moment after he said that. Haibara can feel her heartbeat getting faster and faster every second, and she can feel her face slightly warming up. Is she blushing?

She averted her gaze as she fixes her hair. “You really know how to talk smoothly to a girl, don’t you?”

Conan raised a brow at her comment “What? I’m telling the truth. I’ll be happy as long as you’re here.”

Haibara stared at him for a second before she lowered her gaze. ‘Don’t start giving me hope, Kudo-kun.’ She pleaded silently in her mind.

What the detective was telling her is igniting a spark of hope inside her. She was still determined to be gone after a month, but this. This is too much. He is making her waver.

“Do you know what happens when a person dies, Kudo-kun?” she asked out of nowhere.

Conan seems to be taken aback by the sudden change in topic. “Wha—”

“As a scientist, I know how the body slowly lose its function by the time of death, and I think you know it too…” She looks at him intensely. Something tells him, there is more to it than what she was saying so he let her continue. “…but I like to think that when people die, they become stars.” She looks up sadly and gaze at the velvet sky.

“Why?” Conan uttered in response.

She let a few minutes of silence as she continued observing the night sky before she looks at him again. “Because that’s the only way to console myself that I can still see my sister even though she’s gone. That I can still talk to her.”

She said it with such remorse that Conan can’t help but feel guilty and sad at the same time. She was hurting. Definitely. He can see it in her eyes. This was just one of the rare times where she let others see her being vulnerable. He didn’t know the reason. Maybe it was because of something that she had drink or maybe because this kind of talk just ensues when it’s this late in the night. He didn’t know, but he is thankful because she is opening up to him.

He lifted his hand, and pats her head. She closed her eyes with his touch. “She’s always with you, Haibara. Wherever you are, I know she’s always with you.” He whispered to her. “You don’t have to be alone, Hai. I’m here. I will always be here.”

“You remember our deal?” he questioned.

She nodded.

“I know you still want to kill yourself, but Haibara, I will do whatever it takes to keep our deal. I am not going to lose you. I can’t. Not now, not ever.”

She looks up to him. She can see the sincerity in his voice as he said those words. “Kudo-kun…”

He cups her face. They look in each other eyes intensely. He studied her face, as if memorizing it. His eyes landed on her pinkish red lips. It was distracting him. Conan felt that sudden urge to just close the small gap between them, but he held himself. It was too soon to tell Haibara his feelings. He needs to tell it to her, but it’s still not the right time.

“Can you just forgive yourself Hai? Learn to love yourself too. I know you’ve been too hard to yourself. Give it some slack.” He pleaded. “I’m here. We’re here…Hakase, the kids. You are not alone, remember that.”

He smiled as he caressed her face. He touched his forehead with hers as he pulled her closer to him. They stayed like that for a moment before he released her. She looked gratefully at her. Those were the exact words she needed to hear.

“You really are a smooth talker, aren’t you detective?” she said as she smiled knowingly at him.

Conan just grinned at her as an answer.

*****

A/N: I'm actually happy with this chapter. It feels like I am starting to get a hold of myself again.What do you think?

But then there was this grave news that work will resume again tomorrow. I. Am. Not. Yet. Bloody. Ready. Save me. Hahaha. A comment and a vote will definitely lift up my spirit. ❤❤❤